@anonygirl's (Jen of Eve) most faved Tweets...
Oh god... I just realized that when Tom Cruise dies everyone will tweet "You complete me."
I hope I go first.
I hope I go first.
Have a job interview today. Have managed to put on a bra and sweatpants. So far, I'm knocking this one out of the park.
I miss being a kid. My only responsibilities were running around and laughing a lot. And someone else was in charge of my hair.
Bouncer: Can you still stand on one foot now?
Me, standing on one foot like a champ: Dude, I'm freakin Irish.
Bouncer: You're okay then.
Me, standing on one foot like a champ: Dude, I'm freakin Irish.
Bouncer: You're okay then.
Just saw a touching father/daughter reunion at Grand Central. At least I thought it was, until they started kissing inappropriately. #Unsee
Note to predators: If you're at a house to meet a 15 year old girl and there's a plate of cookies on the table, you're in trouble.
Me (just noticing): "Why do you have one sock on and one sock off?"
Him: "Listen, I'm a complicated man. Don't try to get into my head."
Him: "Listen, I'm a complicated man. Don't try to get into my head."
I would like to hire someone else to dress me.
The girl I have doing it now has no idea what she's doing.
The girl I have doing it now has no idea what she's doing.
An old guy who thought he was alone farted coming out of the bathroom at the Hyatt.
Hey, old guy! You made it to Twitter!
Hey, old guy! You made it to Twitter!
Guess I'll head to the gym, then. If I can't be employed, I might as well at least try to look good.
After all, no pants most of the time.
After all, no pants most of the time.
Pillow talk in 2009:
"I wanna read but the light will probably bother you."
"No, it won't."
"Okay, I'll read until my Xanax kicks in."
"I wanna read but the light will probably bother you."
"No, it won't."
"Okay, I'll read until my Xanax kicks in."
A friend made me look at Facebook today. I was promptly reminded why I sometimes wish Al Gore had never invented the Internet.
I have a phone interview in 10 minutes. There's nothing worse than phone interviews. How will they ever know how gorgeous I am?
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