@antichrista's (Christa Mrgan) most faved Tweets...
I don't know what happened with the Ducks and Beavers game, but I do know that it sounds like the most adorable sporting event ever.
On the one hand, I *should* go for a run. On the other hand, I have five fingers. Covered with peanut butter.
Apps that say where I am are ok, but I need one that lets me tell you where *you* are. Cuz YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE BABY
Accidentally stumbled upon the doll-parts aisle at the craft store; I've never felt so relieved to not be high.
"Unisex" restroom? They needn't have bothered with a sign; no one would want to have sex in here more than once.
Emoji Theater Presents: "Tonsillectomy" by Antichrista
Act I:
Act II:
Act III:
Fin.
Act I:
Act II:
Act III:
Fin.
Seems like all of my friends want to be the same superhero for Halloween. And I've never even heard of "Mostly-Naked Girl."
Having my tonsils out Sept. 16; it's the first step in my plan to remove my organs one at a time until I reach my goal weight.
In an effort to do more in real life, I've taken to drawing little stars on amusing bathroom graffiti.
Had an idea for a sitcom last night, the only shred of which I remember now is the zany sidekick's catchphrase: "DICK SANDWICH! NO BREAD!"
I know eating disorders are serious and not to be taken lightly, but humor should hurt a little—like a finger in the back of your throat.
The hotel soap smelled exactly like a hippie, shattering several of my beliefs about soap and hippies.
Marley's Law: if you forget your headphones, the coffee shop you're working from will play nothing but reggae.
"Trust me, dollface: every dame's got a cervix. Name's Barnaby Pap, PI/OB-GYN." (From my hard-boiled detective novel, _Ovaries Over Easy_)
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