Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
This guy at work thinks he can breed out poor people by having as many children as possible...
The only way I'm going to get enough money is if I become a hooker. I guess twitter did predict the future.
Whales are giant sea dildos.
My roommate heard me on the phone say "I live with a douche bad.." Think he knows I'm talking about him?
I need a back rub, a knife, food and somewhere to hide the body
I just tried using an @ on my phone to send a text message.. this is a sign.
Murder together stay together
Was getting all dressed up and puked my guts out. Guess having sex with random strangers is out.
Hey people this Saturday there is a party at a bar. You should go.
Answering the door in underwear/thigh high socks because I forgot I wasn't wearing clothes is a good way to get the mailman drop his load.
My other penis is a vagina.
I'm pretty sure having a twitter account counts as a STD.
Those raptors better hurry up and get here and eat my asshole neighbor blaring country music this early.
That's one less stalker :)
I have legal rights to your penis #themoreyouknow
"It spanked it good." "I thought that was my job."
Hellraiser comic was a win for me. I have issue 2 on hold.
Your stars are showing.
My day has started off super weird. Most actors have stalkers. Instead I have a stalker who is an actor.
Just spoke about twitter to somone. They looked at me like I was crazy. Guess that's why I fit in here..