Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Malala's college application essay: sup
A walks into a bar & the bartender's like "why the long space"
Clinton was on Between Two Bushes
"Women are crazy!"
"Did one try to murder you unprovoked?"
"No I just disappeared from her life with no notice & she went all PSYCHO on me."
When Netflix asks you if you're still watching & it's kind of like "wow I thought this was a safe space"
You've got to hand it to Christopher Columbus, because he would have definitely taken it anyway & then murdered you
Does anyone know how many calories you burn by sliding down a wall crying?
I get out of bed like a grizzled cop with no new leads on a case he's been on for too long
HEADS UP: if I can't get around you on the sidewalk, I join your family
Saying "I love you" for the first time is like guessing the wifi password for someone's heart
My top secret guide to mtg other singles:
1) see cute prospect
2) don't make eye contact
3) don't acknowledge in any way
4) continue w/life
My hit song would be "Text Me Only"
You may recognize me from not showing up to parties
had a terrible realization that there's at least one ballerina out there with a hoodie that says "BITCH PLIÉS"
Sometimes I feel sad for no reason but then I remember: a few reasons
Being an adult means learning someone said something mean about you & instead of freaking out, you tattoo "breathe" on your wrist
Hey celebs, if you don't want people looking at nude photos of you, maybe you should take some responsibility & stop having a physical form.
Have you ever peed so long you changed your mind on a significant social issue
I am a scrunched up napkin with recyclable dreams. Also a comedian in some cultures. Total drag in others.
Stats can't be shown as @aparnapkin has never signed in to Favstar.