cool thing about internet: meet cool people all over the world. dumb thing about internet: cool people you meet are nowhere near you

ron paul literally, irl, had to instruct his ground team in iowa to shave and shower before going out in public lmfao for ever

@ronpaul what is yr stance re: lasers

stop being assholes to each other

i wish barack obama really was a muslim socialist

@ashlezzle http://t.co/AOw6ks68

"Goddammit..." @ashlezzle, softly, to herself, thinking about Taco Bell unfollowing her

going to gitmo for owning a casio watch and not sending dick pix to @doctor_ass be back never :(

lol this century

What happens if you boil a coffee in a pee

lmfao AOL has a dial-up plan that costs $26 dollars a month

sriracha is like, what if ketchup actually tasted good, and wasn't ketchup

*girl pulls out seat next to me in computer lab, looks at me, sighs deeply, walks to other side of lab to use computer there*

wish u would step back frm dat ledge, mai frnd

finna start the world's only off-the-grid sustainable haunted b&b

instead of blocking spammers twitter is suing the people who make them

i find it hilarious that this company is called john galt, bc the secretaries answer the phone with "john galt, how may i help you?"

lmfao livetweet yr arrest

just go ahead and set your homepage to http://t.co/faPDtsuM andt hank me later for brightening up your day every time you open your browser

"god damn, the american dream..." guy at this bar watching a 60 mins special on underwater mortgages