@apricotica's (Adrien) recent favourites. See who @apricotica favs the most...
Someone call Robert Smith and tell him his eye sockets are available for pickup at my home whenever he's available.
2
my fortune cookie reads "your mind is original, creative, and alert."
original = dirty, creative = twisted, alert = drunk.
BINGO!
original = dirty, creative = twisted, alert = drunk.
BINGO!
Ask your doctor if laughing and dancing in a field of wildflowers is right for you.
In fact, fuck the Rx. Where can I get bootlegs??
In fact, fuck the Rx. Where can I get bootlegs??
2
As a mom, I was disappointed to hear of the poor reputation the term "mother f*cker" has acquired. I blame the schools.
8
The joke market is saturated. From now on I'm specializing only in punchlines. "Hot sauce, motherfucker!" You're welcome.
2
Even though I feel too crappy to go outside, I did open the windows. A step in the right direction. Now on to video games.
5
If at first you don't succeed, try it again but with more spin on it. Or sidearm. Something. The point is, you mighta been doing it wrong.
7
Coworker suggested a quickie but seriously, if I'm going to have bad sex with no hope of orgasm, I want it to last.
5
I can relate to the fairy tale "The Princess and the Pea". I always have a hard time sleeping when there's something hard in my bed.
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