I need to stop telling people I hope to see them soon.

..do they know hashtags don't work on Facebook?

I can't keep working at this can crushing factory. It's soda pressing.

Every conversation I've had today has been about how rough I look.

@_vennard Solid. Kinda stings a little and you're not even talking to me.

When you get old, everybody thinks your wise. I'm not wise, I just talk slow.

If this ends up working out I can see myself touring the country, sharing my story of how I made it with this bum bitch #MorningBae

I get paid to innovate, not punch a clock. That makes people mad. And that makes me smile. #EnlightenmentWidFiveBigAssFigures #NotCatchy

Too fuckin far, Nora.

@therosseverett @piecomic Nigerian prince DM'd me. If I mail him my passport, he'll confirm my details &wire money for your heart #Stamps!?!

@verifieddrunk Nice Puka shell necklace, dude. Hang loose!

Today I've had a knife to my throat, I cried with my Mom, I had the best brownie I've ever eaten and watched a life ...  http://tmi.me/Gkp6z 

RT if you're tired of @hulu throwin @nbcwhitney at you anytime you fail to click another video within 0.2 seconds. #nothingwillsaveyourshow

Baggg dadddyy, you gon hurt yo back. Carry'n all dem boyss, like thatt.

If you 'don't have the money' for drugs you need to get it together. Cause you're probably fat. #DrugsFirst (Is that a real hashtag? Yes.)

Stinky hippy man
Pays in wrinkled dollar bills
Please get out my car

#haiku

I waited for 20. RT @j_luce3: How many followers do you need before you can quit your job?

Notice that you never catch this on a $100.. http://t.co/jaE6WRTa

RT @krishumphries Stay mad!!! RT @theryansides DO YOU SEE THIS MUHFUCKIN TREE HOUSE BITCH?! I'm mad. http://t.co/yueveUIO

I can gauge your education level based on the way you pronounce [the] diabetes.