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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Gift @ariscott Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 4,672
    • FAVS
    smilely_galoforoscarsarahbrooks13PSniffyadrielhamptonlaynemontgomeryRealSamHarwoodHurricaneZara
    • 2,135
    • RETWEETS
    HurricaneZaraFooseSBAlesandraYunDeanosaurianAiliteJackson_T_Fishkris_marquis13spencer
    stockejockgreenteam15alien_sushiMickey_McCauleyRowdyBowden
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I've spent 30 years thinking about how Molly Ringwald's sushi lunch in The Breakfast Club was sitting in a warm library for 4 hours.

    • 3,268
    • FAVS
    3c2e2d3944e3404SDPlissken1TaylorOhWowFireFlyFinchDrewGriffinFDTkristapearsonmolly_lalkrishna_van
    • 1,408
    • RETWEETS
    TiffanyMidgeTaylorOhWowmolly_lalkrishna_vancatttalystcaitlinmmcdabbykraftLoliryder
    smilely_galKerfuckus
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Twitter's original name was "Sentence Contest"

    • 2,978
    • FAVS
    laura_myersitsaubreysmallstarajam_smilely_galarronbobaronamandasasinnerjxmaiyaPSniffy
    • 1,472
    • RETWEETS
    christina_kuekpuzakulicsmsskittyythe_noceurGabiBritoHcmobleysippolaaaalxfres
    UNTRESORloveletterbombs
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I'm at a hockey game and the players weren't really trying but then a guy 5 rows up yelled "come on" and then they tried harder.

    • 2,521
    • FAVS
    itsaubreysmallserinlhtmademLoiselle13thgravegyptitisNandoEvan_Brown22sing4me_marinabellini
    • 976
    • RETWEETS
    ReynoldsAlylanaaradymarinabelliniDexterreid123_dionnejunechrissywhalen34VictoriaMolooThingsJackDigs
    Stellacopter
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene / you are not responsible for the choices my husband makes

    • 1,945
    • FAVS
    smilely_galthemissinglincleavingnehalemRebeccaEarptrevlutzHeretic_HypatiaorneryalwaysAriGav
    • 1,273
    • RETWEETS
    msmarieowitzsstephshersoapboxaishu_sorneryalwaysVelcroVSlacescrimnodkirkJakstar
    mdob11
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I'm sad [deletes]
    Ever feel such deep despair th [deletes]
    There is so much pain insi [deletes]
    BURRITOS RULE LOL [send]

    • 2,206
    • FAVS
    ChrisHallbeckNickadoohippocroteeztrevlutzJaaakeByrddreamendedkristendrumsophiamags
    • 892
    • RETWEETS
    JaaakeByrdSenorJoeJoewoodlandfaerie7baby_fruitcakeGruesomeGuzmanHodge_BethImportantestjajajajanny
    BlackCheesePiekDuncanG
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Parents' houses: where 8pm feels like midnight.

    • 2,118
    • FAVS
    smilely_galNickadooFunnyBoneClubsChaseWaytonMichaelBlundel3Jthomps9theevilwriterJaeMar68
    • 869
    • RETWEETS
    marpar12bree_murageJaeMar68greggjgc79Yo_Simmity_Sammathewbyoungmikewaldron115mary_calm_now
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Got my hands on the screenplay for the new Batman v. Superman movie, and it's pretty great pic.twitter.com/11t6fS2MtL

    • 1,592
    • FAVS
    samiam3195DeLMarSanPippinDiva12AlexerOfLifeDanielPiedraNSHudsonRadioU_chloegohkenziegunn
    • 1,153
    • RETWEETS
    KripposoftMisimSolWaraTheRyanK_chloegohkaitlinfontanajrue_impublicnowmjolnirahammer
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years.

    • 1,394
    • FAVS
    BobbyChristmasatdanwhitemichaeliotfly_me2_MARSROARlikealionTYdhoy12MikePolk41aerszk
    • 1,109
    • RETWEETS
    michaeliotROARlikealionTYttiifffkathleeeeennicolascage4Lsean_purcell4WutangDinoBonitaa_16
    ElifcelloCthunicorn
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    We don't like catcalling.
    BUT HAVE YOU CONSIDERED--
    We don't like catcalling.
    LOOK AT IT THIS WAY--
    We don't like catcalling.
    OKAY BUT--

    • 1,209
    • FAVS
    smilely_galmozzysticks_mzhammerkatz4hatzKnarkochTVSpel7_shapshay97liquidhandsMegoblish
    • 764
    • RETWEETS
    aishu_sNitzanBrockKeavyyyyivartheterribleSammieCoakleysallen201GongShowJayJen1701D
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Please God, let the weather be nice for my picnic. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Many starving. Please hear my picnic prayer.

    • 1,130
    • FAVS
    LoliryderMoarCaffeinesmilely_galNickadoofinancechargeRebeccaEarpgoldengateblondmelibuff
    • 394
    • RETWEETS
    smilely_galfinancechargeKimchiBreathmidnitesocGongShowJayfaarwaTungstenKneecapfacciano
    WhatevaConc
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Thought of a fun idea for a commercial: a husband's like "derr, I made a mess" & the wife's like "what am I gonna do with this guy, right?"

    • 988
    • FAVS
    smilely_galgoldengateblondsanchezjohnnyBownuggetsmyglazedfaceGreeblehausHrBrystockejock
    • 311
    • RETWEETS
    sanchezjohnnynocturnallymeLetdownLizzieTwetterless_SamMoreCabellmarcthemayerdagnabbitttnickintheback
    Manda_like_wine
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    None of the dogs who lost at the dog show know they lost or that they're at a dog show or that they're dogs.

    • 748
    • FAVS
    _SnickerSnackNickadooFunnyBoneClubssanchezjohnnymyglazedfaceEsteCanIHrBrystockejock
    • 535
    • RETWEETS
    sanchezjohnnysschu22739phoebeluheckchuckmanhdr_ricCaressLeporedanielpmcdermotgvozdinsky
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    If I ever get hit by a car I hope it's not while I'm carrying a pizza because then I'll be upset about two things.

    • 741
    • FAVS
    baby_alex13hollymohanxAnna0134DustytextjsraineClaireFriscopaullyslagMissMaebe
    • 463
    • RETWEETS
    TiaTiaaliseImMattyTaylorEatmebbyemmacristina03maurasrizzolimauraxislesClaireFriscoJannabug
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Hey commercials, thanks anyway but we're poor.

    • 720
    • FAVS
    Nickadooeasyfolows461hippocroteezGentLoksNiall_GaffdariuusJannabugKaydee_Carr
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
    hippocroteezdevamithranPrestonJacobson__dariuusHamdanRizviBroken_Broad__debobanrjRay_Gun007
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    There's an alternate universe where teens can even.

    • 643
    • FAVS
    Nickadoogradia_haleymyglazedfaceGreeblehausstockejockyoyohaLetdownLizzielawblob
    • 392
    • RETWEETS
    LetdownLizziestephvelazqzjohnburke_94ellenmcMissAmandaaNMohamedSamir__neongrapetreepee
    julygdiaz
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    It's New Year's Eve! Headed to Times Square? Here's my advice:

    1. No
    2. Do not go there
    3. What are you doing
    4. Go somewhere else
    5. Stop

    • 604
    • FAVS
    NickadooCarynCaldwellcalacaserenadelavandshirleyrobbykarolajewelsongaaydohhudsonhongo
    • 420
    • RETWEETS
    austynp5yeshstupidchickenDaveCZombielysergicgrafitiErinJewkes409WMarketYourComicMuse
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Weird how people in depression medication commercials are looking out windows, not at twitter.

    • 698
    • FAVS
    Nickadooguillorybezach_stewart00georgeduff1957TDeeRockagardendrownedShoot2kill08ravi_sinhaa
    • 260
    • RETWEETS
    boneworthagardendrownedmjmztunechiravi_sinhaaAweShadySomeivy_chai8kelseybunerrrnah
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    My favorite sex position is 10 (falling asleep next to a pizza).

    • 636
    • FAVS
    myglazedfaceHrBryyoyohaLetdownLizzieWhatevaConcjackcarterhayleymettenetWhatsoup_
    • 285
    • RETWEETS
    WhatevaConccodyreuschelnate_chocoMcSwtrvstKimmyMonteDBwiddaDBMullingHagelhey_roldy
    Phylan
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    No, facebook. I do not have 5 events coming up today. I have 0. I have 0 events coming up today.

    • 660
    • FAVS
    leave_whatMialeighsslbevisMaeesaJoLekkaDingjensfwangT_BizzleCat1star
    • 205
    • RETWEETS
    JoLekkaDingAbbeyLynn8thewhitevioletSyazaNadiahNickadooconnormoSugaBeeOfNCfastagent
@ariscott

@ariscott

Writer. UCB. Pictures. Dogs.

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