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  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Gift @ariscott Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 19k
    • LIKES
    rdesai7RosesaurusRexmallikilleremmabrin7PegasaurousRexirl_stinelizardjamzvonnougat
    • 9,253
    • RETWEETS
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    abbycohenwl
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Son, I need to tell you something. You were adapted. Into a screenplay. Your life story will be a film. About adoption. You were adopted.

    • 5,753
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    rainbowroadrashjenniferalile_gentlemoronMostlyPregnantwortmeldungBlack_Robertmatthandlersuxblacross
    • 2,599
    • RETWEETS
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  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I've spent 30 years thinking about how Molly Ringwald's sushi lunch in The Breakfast Club was sitting in a warm library for 4 hours.

    • 5,842
    • LIKES
    Matquesadillaadawiyahwafamoriyah_garciakylesbehonestPlan_BX2alexandravelez0cwkarstMikaylaMathews
    • 2,459
    • RETWEETS
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    smilely_galKerfuckus
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Twitter's original name was "Sentence Contest"

    • 5,059
    • LIKES
    _LesMiserabcloudfrictionTapeFlipA8h1eyIllyBoceanAmanda98222roxannebatallersavannaforstot
    • 2,055
    • RETWEETS
    ErinViolettecloudfrictionantoinette_thoTapeFlipsavannaforstotMissmassalaFatimahXxX26HeartSomerhaldr
    UNTRESORloveletterbombs
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene / you are not responsible for the choices my husband makes

    • 4,216
    • LIKES
    Hhhhelloomadhoopzknibb_paulheyitsmellieTheWhirlaMagsWoodwardM1512512HelenanSantos
    • 2,237
    • RETWEETS
    ZeeJabN_t_shRainbowbunee5MumsieTheKate_Rinahautemess__flamegurl2113ashmensch
    mdob11
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I'm at a hockey game and the players weren't really trying but then a guy 5 rows up yelled "come on" and then they tried harder.

    • 2,780
    • LIKES
    wortmeldunghelloyellowmikefraillinelilavocadhoemartitrinidad04PhineasQThneedStamWOWtaze_o
    • 1,155
    • RETWEETS
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    Stellacopter
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    None of the dogs who lost at the dog show know they lost or that they're at a dog show or that they're dogs.

    • 2,283
    • LIKES
    wortmeldungpierogi_princeShesPennyLaneSierraJ31RunOldMansal19neekukatalinscherer
    • 1,195
    • RETWEETS
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  • ariscott
    • 2,601
    • LIKES
    GiovannaX2536EllenJRogersjasonkeefe4versusmollearthtoorlaJessyFoozyMooaeshirSweenBee
    • 868
    • RETWEETS
    koolthing95lilopugISKI2BEbrennnthtakingLadyYuckfunkyrabbiyougotchelseaComradeKalinka
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    3AM Clinton bedroom:
    Bill: Hey Hill
    Hillary: [half asleep] What
    Bill: You think we can have a balloon room in the White House?
    Hillary: Fine

    • 2,403
    • LIKES
    laurenseitz94DanlellemurphyEmilee3210itismemissyratheeshkvmvddmstvnim_osterhoudt_
    • 761
    • RETWEETS
    DatDudeSkittlesitismemissyhannahskinnnvanunentylerg_lankenauDavisThaReal1alxndrghLoveKltten
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I'm sad [deletes]
    Ever feel such deep despair th [deletes]
    There is so much pain insi [deletes]
    BURRITOS RULE LOL [send]

    • 2,210
    • LIKES
    bossinUp_lajuicwortmeldungBurds_1thewonderfrogMandaLynn314BlackxBird_PotirexInenato
    • 893
    • RETWEETS
    MandaLynn314Leynsun__memechachou__Kiralyne_Mawi_fiRanneMadsenSarah_Biersack_Yungbyrdd
    BlackCheesePiekDuncanG
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Parents' houses: where 8pm feels like midnight.

    • 2,122
    • LIKES
    MilkinymanuelmutiShadowthebeastkotpluffykalpeshnpatelWylie19actiomaPilarc63
    • 870
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedpvaughndmarpar12bree_murageJaeMar68greggjgc79__Yo_Simmity_Sammathewbyoung
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years.

    • 1,675
    • LIKES
    SonicHeartsProphetEKAstvnclmntwortmeldungKayBae___brianlosoyajonathanmushockglowdrkliz
    • 1,252
    • RETWEETS
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    ElifcelloCthunicorn
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Got my hands on the screenplay for the new Batman v. Superman movie, and it's pretty great pic.twitter.com/11t6fS2MtL

    • 1,626
    • LIKES
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    • 1,195
    • RETWEETS
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    PetiteRainCity
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    [stays inside all day long watching tv] Too bad it gets dark so early now.

    • 1,761
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    pelnaslkzncrolex7864Leboza33wortmeldungashleyklejnahaleyyy_adamssskatiewagzlgenth
    • 962
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  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I bet half you people can't even name one Scalia album.

    • 1,506
    • LIKES
    ChaseSirmasonZWsquaredmdani1221andrea_viperfingerbangsHoardingEnablerSongsOfLaredolukesbrand
    • 833
    • RETWEETS
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  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Please God, let the weather be nice for my picnic. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Many starving. Please hear my picnic prayer.

    • 1,771
    • LIKES
    rawlingsandsonsgarafrancHumperDinkPinktjcirimelestormwhite7adybierimargotastymangomattmanic
    • 561
    • RETWEETS
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    WhatevaConc
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Tips for writing a tweet about white girls liking pumpkin spice:

    1. Do not write it
    2. Log off
    3. Go pet a dog or something

    • 1,505
    • LIKES
    wortmeldungMcInappropriatekazfernandesSemel1lkimallwritecomMollyJones212emgdelaneyMandaLynn314
    • 684
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  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    We don't like catcalling.
    BUT HAVE YOU CONSIDERED--
    We don't like catcalling.
    LOOK AT IT THIS WAY--
    We don't like catcalling.
    OKAY BUT--

    • 1,213
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    wortmeldungBurds_1MandaLynn314iwearaonesiesmilely_galmozzysticks_mzhammerkatz4hatz
    • 765
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    MandaLynn314aishu_sNitzanBrockKeavyyyyivartheterribleSammieCoakley__SeragxnGongShowShaun
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Thought of a fun idea for a commercial: a husband's like "derr, I made a mess" & the wife's like "what am I gonna do with this guy, right?"

    • 992
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    Burds_1thewonderfrogMandaLynn314iwearaonesiemariannefellersmilely_galgoldengateblondsanchezjohnny
    • 312
    • RETWEETS
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    Manda_like_wine
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    If I ever get hit by a car I hope it's not while I'm carrying a pizza because then I'll be upset about two things.

    • 787
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    • 477
    • RETWEETS
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@ariscott

@ariscott

Writing, pictures, dogs, UCB

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