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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Gift @ariscott Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 13k
    • FAVS
    gabbyyfullerrpeteranzeloneNomarZednemmeliza_qandroidvacuummichaelcolozzaravenschofieldmuerte_amor
    • 6,911
    • RETWEETS
    natalieeeeschmuerte_amoryelenamedovaraleeburke14kelllymccormickallievegaJayTheHomieStrangeVinzent
    abbycohenwl
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Son, I need to tell you something. You were adapted. Into a screenplay. Your life story will be a film. About adoption. You were adopted.

    • 5,665
    • FAVS
    JDolinskrealconormcgratthomcrowleySmartiniVAustrianPrblmsiwearaonesieMrBokingManUtdElm
    • 2,561
    • RETWEETS
    thomcrowleybee_lakeMrBokingmoey100ThebRojoCodeDimwitTacoozair7WhatShrutiSays
    stockejockgreenteam15alien_sushiMickey_McCauleyRowdyBowden
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I've spent 30 years thinking about how Molly Ringwald's sushi lunch in The Breakfast Club was sitting in a warm library for 4 hours.

    • 3,294
    • FAVS
    anthonyalopezallie_modeXenomorphSBfoggymustacheiwearaonesieATC_5SOSmavisritafarrowCM2BTTHD
    • 1,413
    • RETWEETS
    EmDashAdvocatejellytots_mariannefirthdaniel00Laddie_McBaddieBroadband_molliexquinnbobateababe
    smilely_galKerfuckus
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Twitter's original name was "Sentence Contest"

    • 3,106
    • FAVS
    mavisritafarrowiwearaonesieignoblewretchnerdculaclosetsnakemarissa9210inyourglowghouliana
    • 1,519
    • RETWEETS
    abrohamskigachambaThe_ONE_Adrianclosetsnake_GenghisKYo_Simmity_SamJaredGodwinshit2002
    UNTRESORloveletterbombs
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I'm at a hockey game and the players weren't really trying but then a guy 5 rows up yelled "come on" and then they tried harder.

    • 2,523
    • FAVS
    Dan_O_Boyletwelve_fiftyonesimples0ybeanroshacourtneygufawwMPDietlywhat2vrRainbow__Tiger
    • 981
    • RETWEETS
    nrherzognisalisanlydeckeralllafoxwhat2vrRainbow__TigerbjmzngJoelJacksonA5
    Stellacopter
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene / you are not responsible for the choices my husband makes

    • 1,947
    • FAVS
    meghafonoiwearaonesiespeedgriffonmariannefellertabithduhhhGenovevaRossi1smilely_galthemissinglinc
    • 1,273
    • RETWEETS
    Wokopseemsmarieowitzsstephshersoapboxaishu_sorneryalwaysVelcroVSlacescrimnodkirk
    mdob11
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I'm sad [deletes]
    Ever feel such deep despair th [deletes]
    There is so much pain insi [deletes]
    BURRITOS RULE LOL [send]

    • 2,207
    • FAVS
    Sisixa_InenatoKloryssa44iwearaonesieThatOneHobbitChrisHallbeckNickadoohippocroteez
    • 892
    • RETWEETS
    Leynsunmemechachou__Kiralyne_Mawi_firanchanedogawaSarah_Biersack_JaaakeByrdSenorJoeJoe
    BlackCheesePiekDuncanG
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Parents' houses: where 8pm feels like midnight.

    • 2,119
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesiecastockmansmilely_galNickadooFunnyBoneClubsChaseWaytonMichaelBlundel3Jthomps9
    • 869
    • RETWEETS
    marpar12bree_murageJaeMar68greggjgc79Yo_Simmity_Sammathewbyoungmikewaldron115mary_calm_now
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Got my hands on the screenplay for the new Batman v. Superman movie, and it's pretty great pic.twitter.com/11t6fS2MtL

    • 1,593
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieRachelkimSHzoefunkkemma_balbier14avaaltmannnAdamBessemersamiam3195DeLMarSan
    • 1,153
    • RETWEETS
    snoopozJordan_MandellKripposoftMisimSolWaraTheRyanK_chloegohkaitlinfontanajrue_
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years.

    • 1,402
    • FAVS
    jowislercblundorealstevekerrLauraKownackiiwearaonesieliten_galen_ordLindseyFayBobbyChristmas
    • 1,110
    • RETWEETS
    jowislerkkminardimichaeliotROARlikealionTYttiifffkathleeeeennicolascage4Lsean_purcell4
    ElifcelloCthunicorn
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    We don't like catcalling.
    BUT HAVE YOU CONSIDERED--
    We don't like catcalling.
    LOOK AT IT THIS WAY--
    We don't like catcalling.
    OKAY BUT--

    • 1,210
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesiesmilely_galmozzysticks_mzhammerkatz4hatzKnarkochTVSpel7_shapshay97liquidhands
    • 764
    • RETWEETS
    aishu_sNitzanBrockKeavyyyyivartheterribleSammieCoakleysallen201GongShowJayJen1701D
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Please God, let the weather be nice for my picnic. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Many starving. Please hear my picnic prayer.

    • 1,131
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieLoliryderMoarCaffeinesmilely_galNickadoofinancechargeRebeccaEarpgoldengateblond
    • 394
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historysmilely_galfinancechargeKimchiBreathmidnitesocGongShowJayfaarwaTungstenKneecap
    WhatevaConc
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Thought of a fun idea for a commercial: a husband's like "derr, I made a mess" & the wife's like "what am I gonna do with this guy, right?"

    • 990
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesiemariannefellersmilely_galgoldengateblondsanchezjohnnyBownuggetsmyglazedfaceGreeblehaus
    • 311
    • RETWEETS
    sanchezjohnnynocturnallymeLetdownLizzieTwetterless_SamMoreCabellmarcthemayerdagnabbitttnickintheback
    Manda_like_wine
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    None of the dogs who lost at the dog show know they lost or that they're at a dog show or that they're dogs.

    • 749
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieCeruleanCoyoteNickadooFunnyBoneClubssanchezjohnnymyglazedfaceEsteCanIHrBry
    • 535
    • RETWEETS
    sanchezjohnnysschu22739phoebeluheckchuckmanhdr_ricCaressLeporedanielpmcdermotgvozdinsky
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    If I ever get hit by a car I hope it's not while I'm carrying a pizza because then I'll be upset about two things.

    • 745
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    cBlacketer60Midgetsparelizabethtylerrrandy_bobandywhat2vrsarahplegicKimberTrenttanialunreal
    • 466
    • RETWEETS
    atomicityx__sarahplegicgovtdudelauracevedoxIanAndrews14iwearaonesieTiaTiaaliseImMattyTaylor
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Hey commercials, thanks anyway but we're poor.

    • 721
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieNickadooeasyfolows461hippocroteezGentLoksNiall_GaffdariuusJannabug
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
    hippocroteezdevamithranPrestonJacobson__dariuusHamdanRizviBroken_Broad__debobanrjRay_Gun007
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    There's an alternate universe where teens can even.

    • 644
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieNickadoogradia_haleymyglazedfaceGreeblehausstockejockyoyohaLetdownLizzie
    • 392
    • RETWEETS
    LetdownLizziestephvelazqzjohnburke_94ellenmcMissAmandaaNMohamedSamir__neongrapetreepee
    julygdiaz
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    It's New Year's Eve! Headed to Times Square? Here's my advice:

    1. No
    2. Do not go there
    3. What are you doing
    4. Go somewhere else
    5. Stop

    • 605
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieNickadooCarynCaldwellcalacaserenadelavandshirleyrobbykarolcallmecordelia_aaydoh
    • 420
    • RETWEETS
    austynp5yeshstupidchickenDaveCZombielysergicgrafitiErinJewkes409WMarketYourComicMuse
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Weird how people in depression medication commercials are looking out windows, not at twitter.

    • 699
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesieNickadooguillorybezach_stewart00georgeduff1957TDeeRockagardendrownedShoot2kill08
    • 260
    • RETWEETS
    TheRealMackanboneworthagardendrownedmjmztunechiravi_sinhaaAweShadySomeivy_chai8kelseybun
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    My favorite sex position is 10 (falling asleep next to a pizza).

    • 637
    • FAVS
    iwearaonesiemyglazedfaceHrBryyoyohaLetdownLizzieWhatevaConcjackcarterhayleymettenet
    • 285
    • RETWEETS
    WhatevaConccodyreuschelnate_chocoMcSwtrvstKimmyMonteDBwiddaDBMullingHagelhey_roldy
    Phylan
@ariscott

@ariscott

Writer. UCB. Pictures. Dogs.

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