• Howdy!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Son, I need to tell you something. You were adapted. Into a screenplay. Your life story will be a film. About adoption. You were adopted.

    • 4,648
    • FAVS
    DestineyLynnsarahjmckeownasami_ytKariSoutherlandgoldengateblondpoopdolphinRobinMcCauleytammallen
    • 2,132
    • RETWEETS
    asami_ytRebeccaEarpCanchinflinHerom1randa_msorellina1GladdyBearJohnOTheobaldtimkmak
    stockejockgreenteam15alien_sushiMickey_McCauleyRowdyBowden
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Twitter's original name was "Sentence Contest"

    • 2,871
    • FAVS
    RebeccaEarptweeterellaahsuperherohq_troyjohnsonam1088SirDubiousStrikeTheThirdbobspace
    • 1,444
    • RETWEETS
    EstherCWPapercutFilesMiddleageMitsmetrbtipseybartenderfilmworm85NickHilll1SteelCityDawn
    UNTRESORloveletterbombs
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I'm at a hockey game and the players weren't really trying but then a guy 5 rows up yelled "come on" and then they tried harder.

    • 2,446
    • FAVS
    financechargeRebeccaEarphippocroteeztrevlutznate_greiwechloe_waggonernattthefatcatryfinn
    • 960
    • RETWEETS
    trevlutzjacrowell87connorbatman23nattthefatcatTADietrickNotLinDUHpaigeyymiddsandivictoriaart
    Stellacopter
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene / you are not responsible for the choices my husband makes

    • 1,944
    • FAVS
    leavingnehalemRebeccaEarptrevlutzHeretic_HypatiaorneryalwaysAriGavBrevduemraowz
    • 1,273
    • RETWEETS
    msmarieowitzsstephshersoapboxaishu_sorneryalwaysVelcroVSlacescrimnodkirkJakstar
    mdob11
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I'm sad [deletes]
    Ever feel such deep despair th [deletes]
    There is so much pain insi [deletes]
    BURRITOS RULE LOL [send]

    • 2,204
    • FAVS
    hippocroteeztrevlutzJaaakeByrddreamendedkristendrumsophiamagsxLindseyWildebaby_fruitcake
    • 892
    • RETWEETS
    JaaakeByrdSenorJoeJoewoodlandfaerie7baby_fruitcakeGruesomeGuzmanHodge_BethImportantestjajajajanny
    BlackCheesePiekDuncanG
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Parents' houses: where 8pm feels like midnight.

    • 2,116
    • FAVS
    MichaelBlundel3Jthomps9theevilwriterJaeMar68RobinMcCauleygreggjgc79goldengateblondonume_
    • 869
    • RETWEETS
    bree_murageJaeMar68greggjgc79Yo_Simmity_Sammathewbyoungmikewaldron115mary_calm_nowsabbyfish
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    I've spent 30 years thinking about how Molly Ringwald's sushi lunch in The Breakfast Club was sitting in a warm library for 4 hours.

    • 1,939
    • FAVS
    SnarkyLemurfinancechargestaceehilespoopdolphinalyssonholtGloriaFallon123paul4taRandiReckless
    • 831
    • RETWEETS
    financechargedevamithranExklusivHaroldWNelsonpaul4tastarkavaauthorEstefajuliaJPurs21
    Kerfuckus
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Got my hands on the screenplay for the new Batman v. Superman movie, and it's pretty great pic.twitter.com/11t6fS2MtL

    • 1,592
    • FAVS
    DeLMarSanPippinDiva12AlexerOfLifeDanielPiedraNSHudsonRadioU_chloegohkenziegunnOriginalKMC
    • 1,153
    • RETWEETS
    KripposoftMisimSolWaraTheRyanK_chloegohkaitlinfontanajrue_iam_myronicmjolnirahammer
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    For someone so concerned with marriage licenses, God sure was focused on dinosaurs for 180 million years.

    • 1,289
    • FAVS
    MrSeanyGgoldengateblondradiosalesguy99AndreaWilliecarlosavch4TheLoveOfGrubfilmworm85davestites
    • 1,064
    • RETWEETS
    ErikSchuurkeil404kikibunny_davestitesB_Festanizaam325EwWood13RattleTheStars4
    ElifcelloCthunicorn
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    We don't like catcalling.
    BUT HAVE YOU CONSIDERED--
    We don't like catcalling.
    LOOK AT IT THIS WAY--
    We don't like catcalling.
    OKAY BUT--

    • 1,057
    • FAVS
    Kerfuckuskksmith8598curiousteejDonna_McCoyMilase_kmyglazedfaceHebatheawesomeEwItsBerkeley
    • 705
    • RETWEETS
    Donna_McCoyrealsarahbaxterTori_DuffinTBeckhusenkatierenee88LZ_BrianneAmandaPflaumerbobbinsleak
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Please God, let the weather be nice for my picnic. There are 7 billion people on this planet. Many starving. Please hear my picnic prayer.

    • 1,128
    • FAVS
    financechargeRebeccaEarpgoldengateblondmelibuffKimchiBreatherin_gwynnAwalGengkathlikskoolgrl
    • 393
    • RETWEETS
    financechargeKimchiBreathmidnitesocGongShowJayfaarwaTungstenKneecapfaccianobig_corc
    WhatevaConc
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Thought of a fun idea for a commercial: a husband's like "derr, I made a mess" & the wife's like "what am I gonna do with this guy, right?"

    • 987
    • FAVS
    goldengateblondsanchezjohnnyBownuggetsmyglazedfaceGreeblehausHrBrystockejockredherringbear
    • 311
    • RETWEETS
    sanchezjohnnynocturnallymeLetdownLizzieTwetterless_SamMoreCabellmarcthemayerdagnabbitttnickintheback
    Manda_like_wine
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    None of the dogs who lost at the dog show know they lost or that they're at a dog show or that they're dogs.

    • 746
    • FAVS
    sanchezjohnnymyglazedfaceEsteCanIHrBrystockejockjasgrenyoyohanotoriousPOB
    • 535
    • RETWEETS
    sanchezjohnnysschu22739phoebeluheckchuckmanhdr_ricCaressLeporedanielpmcdermotgvozdinsky
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    If I ever get hit by a car I hope it's not while I'm carrying a pizza because then I'll be upset about two things.

    • 710
    • FAVS
    hippocroteezDonna_McCoysanchezjohnnyneophilAyahjackofffrosttmyglazedfaceRachel_Matthewsmaddykuper
    • 456
    • RETWEETS
    EstherCWkellyvdatrilamesupremesanchezjohnnymaurocp95FowldozerMariana_Legaspitweetswithemily
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Hey commercials, thanks anyway but we're poor.

    • 719
    • FAVS
    easyfolows461hippocroteezGentLoksNiall_GaffdariuusJannabugKaydee_CarrLachys_no1_fan
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
    hippocroteezdevamithranPrestonJacobson__dariuusHamdanRizviBroken_Broad__debobanrjRay_Gun007
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    There's an alternate universe where teens can even.

    • 642
    • FAVS
    gradia_haleymyglazedfaceGreeblehausstockejockyoyohaLetdownLizzielawblobDBwiddaDB
    • 392
    • RETWEETS
    LetdownLizziestephvelazqzjohnburke_94ellenmcMissAmandaaNMohamedSamir__neongrapetreepee
    julygdiaz
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    It's New Year's Eve! Headed to Times Square? Here's my advice:

    1. No
    2. Do not go there
    3. What are you doing
    4. Go somewhere else
    5. Stop

    • 603
    • FAVS
    CarynCaldwellcalacaserenadelavandshirleyrobbykarolajewelsongaaydohhudsonhongohopeful_md
    • 420
    • RETWEETS
    austynp5yeshstupidchickenDaveCZombielysergicgrafitiErinJewkes409WMarketYourComicMuse
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    Weird how people in depression medication commercials are looking out windows, not at twitter.

    • 697
    • FAVS
    guillorybezach_stewart00georgeduff1957TDeeRockagardendrownedShoot2kill08ravi_sinhaaivy_chai8
    • 260
    • RETWEETS
    boneworthagardendrownedmjmztunechiravi_sinhaaAweShadySomeivy_chai8kelseybunerrrnah
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    My favorite sex position is 10 (falling asleep next to a pizza).

    • 636
    • FAVS
    myglazedfaceHrBryyoyohaLetdownLizzieWhatevaConcjackcarterhayleymettenetWhatsoup_
    • 285
    • RETWEETS
    WhatevaConccodyreuschelnate_chocoMcSwtrvstKimmyMonteDBwiddaDBMullingHagelhey_roldy
    Phylan
  • ariscott
      Ari Scott @ariscott

    If you ever see a movie where a woman is depressed and she has shaved legs that movie is bullshit.

    • 525
    • FAVS
    hippocroteezBownuggetsmyglazedfaceGreeblehausyoyohaLetdownLizzieJethicagiruaro
    • 252
    • RETWEETS
    LetdownLizzieYinYang83951509twopennytrashvanessasraeblanchardMollyBolf5UnaCruickshankWhiskeyBurrito
    SCbchbum
@ariscott

@ariscott

Writer. UCB. Pictures. Dogs.

Gift_128x128

Like @ariscott’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.

Gift them Pro!