@arjunbasu's (Arjun Basu) most faved Tweets...
They stopped the car and tore off their clothes and ran into the lake and were quickly eaten by a mythical creature that no one believed in.
Her mother warned her it was true. And after the hamster's eyes popped out, the daughter learned it was possible to love something to death.
They stumbled around the darkness without the stars to guide them. They came upon a rise and someone said "poop." And no one found it funny.
The new neighbors had porn on night and day, at incredible volumes. Finally, he knocked on their door to complain. But they didn't own a TV.
It was during the walk in the forest that she realized the philosopher's words had no deeper meaning and that he was, in fact, full of shit.
There is drinking and flirting and then they're up in his hotel room and she rips off his shirt and he says, Man, I really liked that shirt.
He cuts his tongue licking an envelope. Then bites it chewing gum. And burns it drinking coffee. That night his girlfriend calls him useless
He finishes peeing and shakes a bit and a drop falls on the floor, unnoticed. Six months later, she will cite that drop as "the last straw."
He tosses and turns, trying to find that one position, the comfort that will allow sleep. And then he finds it. And then the alarm goes off.
I can never ever do what I want, the kid whines and as he yells and stomps off to his room and slams his door, his father sighs, Me neither.
He rolls off her and they listen to each other breathing; the aftermath of intimacy. That confirmed it, she says. I'm going to become a nun.
This never happens, he says. He slouches by the end of the bed. He knows his reign as a superhero is finished and he imagines life, capeless
He fell in love with the girl at the post office. But because her job was so tragic he never asked her out. His stamp collection is enormous
They emerged from the bedroom finally, coughing, grasping for air, and they were famished. I want a burger that tastes like you, he told her
They were two ships passing in the night. Except they didn't manage the pass part and crashed. And lots of people died and there was a movie
He ate his granola silently, savoring the night's activities. She was still in bed, a smile on her face. The dog sat in a corner. Terrified.
They staggered out of the car and found themselves in a swamp, knee deep in mud. If I hear banjos, I'm going to shit my pants, he announced.
She's a shy girl, but she gets up on stage and sings country songs with the kind of voice that detroys mens' hearts. Plus she has big boobs.
He has ugly children. He admits this. He knows the pain of birthday parties full of beautiful children. Of parading the failure of his genes
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