Jesus wasn't born in America, yet you don't see Republicans trying to keep him out of government...

Scientists have finally developed a car that runs on water! Unfortunately it only works with water from the Gulf of Mexico...

Today is the day we find out if the rumors are true... America went black, will it go back?

Just a note, if you own a parrot & you haven't taught it to say "Help, they've turned me into a parrot" then you are wasting everyone's time

RT @tinastullracing: @speedfreaks "Hello, jet engine on a truck. My name is Juan Pablo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

I hate it when people compare Freddie Mercury to God. He's good and all, but for fuck's sake, he is no Freddie Mercury.

I stopped believing for a little while this morning. Journey is gonna be so pissed when they find out.

People, the Black Eyed Peas are NOT the worst band in the world. Please don't take that title away from Nickelback, it's all that they have

I came here to kick ass and assign IPv4 addresses, and I'm all out of IPv4 addresses (via @secretsquirrel)

If someday we all go to prison for downloading music, I just hope they split us up by genre...

If a lesbian cockblocks another lesbian... would it then be considered a beaver dam?

@rhondaperky I haven't been this disappointed in a cleverly worded title since the movie "Snatch"

Who came up with hugs? That first hug must have been really creepy. "Hey wtf are you doing? Why are you holding me?" "Shhhhh, just trust me"

They keep telling me I should make the little things count. I'm off to go teach math to midgets.

Straight line winds destroyed the dugouts at glen este high school http://t.co/KkXLPIoB

If Tetris taught me anything it's that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.

Is it you, is it me? Search for things that you can't see. Going blind. Out of reach. Somewhere in the vaseline

I figured out why the Republicans oppose stem-cell research: They're afraid the Democrats will use it to grow a spine

Today we shot 119 Tomahawk missiles into Libya at a cost of $575k per missile. Total cost is $68.4m or 8.425m more than NPR receives a year

They say that revenge is a dish best served cold. But they also say revenge is sweet... Is revenge really just ice cream? I like ice cream.