@arundo_donax's (Standardized Crazy) recently faved Tweets...
Insomnia energy burst - listening to the music I yoinked from the internets today. It is all awesome. Productivity Level 10, motherfuckers!
2
goldengateblondabbilove
Alas, that doesn't include such waters as Russian potato, German yeast, Irish barley, or Italian grape. Sigh.
1
twistedpfister
Surgery went well. Throat is very grumpy, tummy wants spaghetti so is also grumpy, but head is all druggedy so is pretty pleased.
2
navanaxBillMc7
Having a tonsillectomy this morning... everybody take a moment out of your day around 7 to pretend to bite the doctor for me?
1
mahalis
My doctor: "Are you feeling okay? You look nauseated."

Me: "Just hungover."

Then she & my mom both laughed. ...I'm insulted.
2
twistedpfisterdrewmonge
"We're 15! I have breasts! And you have GENITALIA!" Because it's been far too long since I had a mopey Dawson's Creek marathon. Don't judge.
2
goldengateblondabbilove
Dear Last Night:

NO SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING.

Love, Eva
6
goldengateblondblondediva11twistedpfistergrumpassgrumpawabbiloveunanything
So... @mahalis is so hammered that he just drunk-dialled me and left me a drunken voicemail. From the backseat of this car.
4
unanythinggoldengateblondjorshuwahmahalis
Kathleen: "Dude, how old is he?"

Me: "Hot."
13
ActualAjjherrickIamDoubleGunanythingayeshamusabbilovejebanthonynavanaxtwistedpfisterblondediva11jorshuwahmahaliskatherinecm
"(by 'sketchy means' I mean you, as usual)" ~@mahalis
1
chris30269
I am high at the symphony right now. I am about to listen to the Rite of Spring completely blazed. I LOVE COLLEGE
6
goldengateblondunanythingchris30269Beef_Tonguenavanaxblondediva11
@mahalis God, I totally would have starred that if you'd just gone balls-in and said "bukkake" with pride.
@arundo_donax in reply to mahalis
1
mahalis
Babysitting is dangerous. I'm pretty sure my headstone is going to read "Here lies Eva, who OD'ed on Flintstones gummy vitamins."
6
Beef_Tonguemahalisgoldengateblondtwistedpfisterblondediva11navanax
"Can we just talk about this really fucking creepy music that's playing right now? It sounds like Cookie Monster ate Bob Dylan." ~my sister
6
kolchakgirlvanizedabbiloveduelin_markerstwistedpfisterBeef_Tongue
You know what's awesome about today? That I woke up early enough for morning Chick-Fil-A. Chicken minis om nom nom
1
goldengateblond
I'm going to think of that act as "a violent expulsion of 2009 from my stomach."
2
goldengateblondabbilove
It should maybe say something about the crowd I run with that my friend owns a breathalyzer.
5
smashedpotatoesblondediva11timbalancedDoanDoDatabbilove
And now we're playing with my friend's breathalyzer. I... blew a .32. Does... that mean I'm dead?
2
mahalisabbilove
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