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Urban Outfitters clerk: Do you want your receipt emailed to you? Me: sure. My email is sexxxybutt420@hotmail.com
If you would have told me that one day there would be a commercial about skitters I wouldn't have believed you. @charmin
Long line at the redbox. Everyone must be renting @bluelikejazzmov @marshallallman
#ff Happy Endings cult leaders cont. @daniellibman @therealdanrubin @strachable @jackieclarke @gilozeri @janiobi @andrewgutin
It's real RT @lashpro1 @ashiepants You can use it for eyebrows. You can do it with LashPRO too!
Just heard some Asian tourists singing We Are Young. It must be what Tokyo is like.
My favorite part of The Godfather part II is when they go to Miami and open the 2nd DASH location.
The moral of every movie should be if you're racist bad things will happen to you.
I only write jokes about Stand by Me. Writer (credits include several long fan fics posted on angelfire, notes on my iphone, vague outlines of ideas, etc.)
