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Being an adult is such bullshit.
Its 2014, there is absolutely NO excuse for driving drunk. Use Lyft/Uber, call AAA (1-800-222-4257), call a sober friend. Dont be a dickhead
I'm about to do all of the things I've dreamed of and I don't even miss you at all.
From 6pm - 6am AAA will drive you and your car home for FREE. Please take advantage of this and don't be a dickhead. 1-800-222-4257
"I will only date guys with tattoos and gauges" lol are you 12?
Oh you love your dad huh? Name three of his albums.
I'm shy. Please flirt aggressively.
Yeah, you should totally idolize Marilyn Monroe: a drugged out, dipshit, crybaby, homewrecker because she was pretty. Also, you're an idiot.
Everyone has a g-spot it's called the god spot and it's in your heart.
I believe in premarital sex amen
You know what’s less civilized than damaging property during protest? Murder.
Some people really don't understand how damaging emotionally abusive relationships are. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
When someone sees you ugly cry and still wants to bang you, hold them close and don't let go.
Compliments are like free gifts that make people's hearts happy so I give them out a lot.
I just saw The Imitation Game and I actually have no words. Benedict Cumberbatch is iconic.
That horrible feeling you get when you're not asleep anymore.
I don't understand handjobs. Why compete with the thousands of hours of practice that he's put into giving himself one?
its a cruel world but its cool
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