If you want to see a complete disentigration of human intelligence, go to a four-way stop in Kansas.

If you waste your time talking about me, I'm already better than you.

Wasted MOTHERFUCKING Wednesday! #ΣTΓ

If you drive a white Crown Vic and you aren't a cop then FUCK YOU

Grow up and get your smalltown pathetic shit out of my face.

Dad just sent me this #parentaladvice pic.twitter.com/4awfUEdRrB

Watchin rain, watchin snow AT THE SAME DAMN TIME

If I seriously have to go to class today I'm gonna be obnoxiously high.

Hanging out alone >>>>. No one to impress or pretend to like #perfect

Nick Saban can gargle my balls. I'm not a Notre Dame fan but FUCK that bitch.

Bucket list: give head wearing glasses with googley eyes on springs and keep apologizing as they fall out and put them back in

There's a child at work so I can't curse all day so excuse me for a FUCK FUCK MOTHERFUCKER BITCH TITS FUCK.

Gravity... stay the hell away from me.

A marijuana charge can carry a 15-year sentence while the average convicted rapist serves 5 years #America

Remember kids, if a stranger offers you drugs, say thank you, because drugs are expensive.

The only B-word you should ever call a woman? Beautiful. Bitches love being called beautiful.

Lost some followers in my tweet rampage last night/this morning. Fuck 'em! #ItsTheAmphetamines

I can't prove it, but I am positive that all birds have a bad attitude.

Ps homies love the ass so whatever sorryboutcha

I'm high as shit for dinner with my family right now and I'm pretty sure they're aware