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Guys, it's REVERSE Zombie Jesus. Because he wants you to eat HIS flesh.
#FollowYourHeartNY you CAN afford that one bedroom right upstairs from an ethnic grocery store.
Antz in my pants #ImproveFilmTitlesByAddingInMyPants
This is not a tweet.
If this tweet gets 1 million retweets, I'll eat my own feces.
Facebook is great if you are looking for a reason to hate everyone you have ever known and loved.
You gotta give it up for Amanda Bynes for really pacing herself during her meltdown.
My google calendar just reminded me that the world is ending in a few weeks.
OMG I'm getting married today. What the fuck!?
I can't wait to shoot down Amazon drones to fulfill my Christmas Shopping list.
Can't wait till FEMA comes and tries to force us into camps. OVER MY DEAD, HALF EATEN BY CATS, BODY
Just now realized that Enter Sandman is about getting Sanduskied.
Wade Redden has more points than Rick Nash in these playoffs.
I hold my pee until the last minute so my stream sounds more masculine while I cower away in a stall.
Grown-ass adults need to stop using snapchat. I know you looking at underage pussy on there. Cut it out.
Nothing makes be angrier than being told I should get a keurig machine because I love coffee.
You people are shocked at 6 Floridians making a bad decision? Have you ever even internetted before?
"That's ratchet" "no that's just an adjustable wrench."
ronin, developer, cat fancier, shut down defenseman, bad husband, stud muffin, zen satanist, coffee snob, eater of emotions. #goutlife