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  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    Twitter gave me $50 bucks for ads. Here's where that went. pic.twitter.com/J3K6p8EvrC

    • 81
    • FAVS
    thatnickjonesmelanierenzulliartfeedsmiaMattAnd3rsonanthnyRetroChristali_love_HoneyZzfreejoe76
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    melanierenzullibenatkinSylarDOXTheBeatnikBillAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    Guys, it's REVERSE Zombie Jesus. Because he wants you to eat HIS flesh.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Earth2Eddiemiketheknife007favstar_poppcsegal_chrisgrav3s
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    alischelin____faerienationShatoya_JacksonazefiraLitiofavstar_popdapswebsiteblackfog
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    #FollowYourHeartNY you CAN afford that one bedroom right upstairs from an ethnic grocery store.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Earth2EddiesaaaamanthagshamoniiqueLivingLifeCraZEAntiSemanticShw
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    Earth2EddieBXEnriqueAlexx_MonroecalebarmaniSayItInGuzmannicole_northOJ817ScenesOfMadness
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    If this tweet gets 1 million retweets, I'll eat my own feces.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    fefespeaksAntiSemanticShwBobbyBucchaepradogodAvatar_unknown_48
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    AntiSemanticShwpradogodTheReverendMattarielpOcandojustinrkleinpavis_dapswebsitechrisDAPS
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    Antz in my pants #ImproveFilmTitlesByAddingInMyPants

    • 3
    • FAVS
    Earth2Eddiebsgbryandaveprezoh
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    Earth2Eddiecrunchiesbabejanette_alysiafavstar_popOnDa_SmooveTweetMeNadineWadeLandryOpinion_Nation
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    This is not a tweet.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    pradogodEarth2EddieemceejpdFLIPSFrankCurtisBinScytheful
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    pradogodpdFLIPSFrankCurtisBClLxKrycklinScythefulmusgomusgomuttonofthesea
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    Facebook is great if you are looking for a reason to hate everyone you have ever known and loved.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    pradogodEarth2EddieFrankCurtisBPisforPaula
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    pradogodCOURTNEEYYYTheBradyG_macaronydapswebsitewhatkathrynsaiddaniellewardStephanieEterno
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    nothing is more loathesome than makeup and perfume. I pity those without the self respect to not need it.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    AlertTheTroutAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    champsuperstarCryptoterraAprilMunroecocononofrknbns
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    You gotta give it up for Amanda Bynes for really pacing herself during her meltdown.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    SenatorRHplasticraincoataYo_MattBurnsEJ_Brooklyn_Ownimnoturguildie
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    SenatorRHdapswebsitedanomak
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    My google calendar just reminded me that the world is ending in a few weeks.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    veronicaceceliaTheDaveHermanChickTech
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    JustMeInGAPeterg_TMTdapswebsiteJohnDaggychrisDAPS
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    OMG I'm getting married today. What the fuck!?

    • 3
    • FAVS
    cynicuhlEarth2Eddiedanielleward
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Earth2EddieFLAMbabyjsorrentijosiespeaksemiliosparks
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    I can't wait to shoot down Amazon drones to fulfill my Christmas Shopping list.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    TrudoHauteCraigtureSheila_Mac420Heidi_Ayala
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    michelecynowiczTrudoHeidi_Ayala
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    Can't wait till FEMA comes and tries to force us into camps. OVER MY DEAD, HALF EATEN BY CATS, BODY

    • 1
    • FAV
    gustaco_
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    gustaco_Marco_El_WizardJackieLALVSpanishDrakeAllStevieHauteCraigture
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    Just now realized that Enter Sandman is about getting Sanduskied.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    Earth2EddieFrankCurtisBAntiSemanticShw
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    AliciaD15__lllennnyyydapswebsitevlams
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    Don't get married or else you lose half of all you worked your whole life for because your wife is a fucking moron.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Browneyed_mamapradogodAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Browneyed_mamapradogod
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    Got a free wrap from a new Vegan Spot on the corner. Needless to say I'm going to need a second lunch.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    954LeenOOutsideMetroBrowneyed_mamaAvatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    OutsideMetroBrowneyed_mama
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    Wade Redden has more points than Rick Nash in these playoffs.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    cynthiadebruin5__mindobies2707____lindarowles2z3gChrisqjli____Ivysmyf__________Lucilamdev________
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    I hold my pee until the last minute so my stream sounds more masculine while I cower away in a stall.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    abd__lveronicaceceliaHauteCraigture
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    dapswebsiteMightyVinHauteCraigture
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    a kickstarter to buy an entire endcap of tostitos and salsa, then eat them all my self. I'll make a video of me doing this.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    chrisDAPSAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    dapswebsite
  • augiemania
      Carlos @augiemania

    hey @twitter, your free $50 for ads brought the swarm of morons to my front door. thanks.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    00I00I00TimDuffyrapmusiclikerAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
@augiemania

@augiemania

ronin, web developer, cat fancier, shut-down defenceman, annunaki, husband, hunk, zen-satanist, nhl insider, coffee snob, and eater of emotions. #goutlife