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Guys, it's REVERSE Zombie Jesus. Because he wants you to eat HIS flesh.
#FollowYourHeartNY you CAN afford that one bedroom right upstairs from an ethnic grocery store.
If this tweet gets 1 million retweets, I'll eat my own feces.
Antz in my pants #ImproveFilmTitlesByAddingInMyPants
This is not a tweet.
Facebook is great if you are looking for a reason to hate everyone you have ever known and loved.
nothing is more loathesome than makeup and perfume. I pity those without the self respect to not need it.
You gotta give it up for Amanda Bynes for really pacing herself during her meltdown.
My google calendar just reminded me that the world is ending in a few weeks.
OMG I'm getting married today. What the fuck!?
I can't wait to shoot down Amazon drones to fulfill my Christmas Shopping list.
Can't wait till FEMA comes and tries to force us into camps. OVER MY DEAD, HALF EATEN BY CATS, BODY
Just now realized that Enter Sandman is about getting Sanduskied.
Wade Redden has more points than Rick Nash in these playoffs.
I hold my pee until the last minute so my stream sounds more masculine while I cower away in a stall.
Grown-ass adults need to stop using snapchat. I know you looking at underage pussy on there. Cut it out.
Nothing makes be angrier than being told I should get a keurig machine because I love coffee.
ronin, developer, cat fancier, defenceman, bad husband, hunk, zen satanist, coffee snob, eater of emotions. I'm like Neil Degrasse Tyson for insane people.