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  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    What wine goes with I fucking hate the grocery store.

    • 154
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramerwhatitsmenejHardcoorsThePinkDuchezz____tallateacareylikeswine1par8head
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejClareBarryHardcoorsThePinkDuchezz____VickiVSartincareylikeswine1par8headrayyyych
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    How many times is normal to use the "F" word or take the Lord's name in vain while holiday decorating? Should I ask Santa for an exorcism?

    • 84
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinwhatitsmenejcynicanoldicusI_Am_Iron_Dad____JasonBerlinPsycholaneGonzoPhilColoChiver
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejtorimaceachernFuriousBoyScoutsnydShhhhTrustMe______Reverend_ScottSynapticChasmsbooblyss
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    From the sound of your tweets today, I'm worried that some of you are aren't getting enough fiber.
    :-(

    • 74
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramercynicanoldicusJasonBerlinPsycholaneLicNips__________GonzoPhilColoChiver
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    GonzoPhilmisstee_virgomochanyaFavstar500FavsShock_Monster__oldgreypopsCanadianCynDawnLovesZombie
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Asked Hubby if he puts the dishes away right at his girlfriend's house. Judging from blank stare, she hasn't been able to train him either.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramerwhatitsmenejA_SmartAsscynicanoldicusshagen1123Sarica77I_Am_Iron_Dad____
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejrnbny81shagen1123I_Am_Iron_Dad____sarahbellum22itsaRawDawgArtMatters2meDawnLovesZombie
    Sister_Roberta
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    We named our wifi "FBI van"

    • 50
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramerA_SmartAssJasonBerlinDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilDanKCharnleyRickRjm0377
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    RickRjm0377The_Real_Tao______aGirlNamedSassyemmakswan6oessTonyzTigergangsterball666DorsonKieffer____
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    This whole "twitter wanting you to invite friends" shit is depressing. If we had friends, would we be on twitter?

    • 38
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramerwhatitsmenejA_SmartAssTattooedMiseryrjodeh54NCSUMsJudyJonestigeryinyang
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejandedossCM2BTTHDNuIIPointerstaforilynneclarke4adelusionistFireWoman516______
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    If it weren't for texting, I could never have a civilized conversation with my offspring.

    • 48
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramercynicanoldicuswhatitsmenejCMeier324ThePinkDuchezz____BoutCrazedgrimpossible
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejCMeier324ThePinkDuchezz____BoutCrazedNikkki_RCunda22Aspersioncastosigat
    Aspersioncast
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Discovered the neighbor cat has been sleeping in laundry room. Hubby says its the room I never use. They both have nice beds in there now.

    • 47
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramerwhatitsmenejcynicanoldicusJasonBerlinDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilColoChiver
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejcjs3471HallpassCanadaCLB_7canadianatlargeCanadianCynmerryjenlvaaronasellars
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Relatives are saying niece can't have a bridal shower cuz she's living w/ her betrothed. What the fuck century are we living in again?

    • 55
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinwhatitsmenejJasonBerlinGonzoPhilColoChiveremmakswanAspersioncastJennifergr8
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar_NSFW_Ms_Moneypenny_theschmeltzEl_nacho_Nigre
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Getting just like Facebook with all the birthdays on here. BTW, mine's in June and I'm registered at most Oregon Wineries.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramercynicanoldicuswhatitsmenejJasonBerlinDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilColoChiver
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejaGirlNamedSassyemmakswanHallpassCanadathatcarlygirlwallpaper_words__DaddyNick________HerHighness87
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    What I did for ME this moms day. Planted flowers in my friends yard who is newly in remission (multiple myeloma).
    Feels good to be selfish.

    • 40
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramerwhatitsmenejJasonBerlinGonzoPhilemmakswanJTQuestAspersioncast
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenej1evilidiotfavstar_popbeerNcheer______MeanOldManMike____faultymoonpieCM2BTTHD
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    I'm supposed to start "hormone replacement."
    I am hoping to replace them with something more cool like telepathy or the ability to levitate.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramerbeckyiniowacalluptomeRealPrincessKimonedavedeepNostradamAssHatcynicanoldicus
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    LaurieRichteronedavedeepcynicanoldicuspolyhumorousICountBeanssVinoTica__________WilliamAder
    polyhumorous
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    "Buy me a drink young man, and I won't describe my episiotomy"
    Mom's weekend pickup line!

    • 40
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramerJeni_DeckerwhatitsmenejJasonBerlinDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilColoChiver
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejosigatonedavedeepEl_nacho_Nigre
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    What is it with my kids and their virtual umbilical cords. Mama's gettin' her drink on. And tweeting. Go play in traffic.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramercynicanoldicuswhatitsmenejJasonBerlinDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilColoChiver
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    jrodgptx______CCARTXMeshaK___________HallpassCanadaLanecat2MarsCamper________
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Even though it seems like a good idea financially to have your child go to community college & live at home, you will spend more in wine.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramercynicanoldicusColoChiverAllyMel23MissTittesseeskeeter4321LutherGKnight
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    pecove85kihugiskeeter4321LutherGKnightMkjkfitzgeraldswbelieves______crazycircles_WhoFdTheStork
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    So glad my kids are older & I don't have to do Easter Baskets. I open the doors to their filthy rooms, toss in money & let them hunt for it.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinRunwayDanHousewifeOfHellalrulz2009catyeboahUna_Perra_LocaWilleyBrian1evilidiot
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    catyeboahAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Babygirl had to have a throat swab and the doctor made a comment on her lack of gag reflex. Now it's the friggin' nunnery for her!

    • 39
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinJasonBerlinGonzoPhilColoChiveremmakswanAspersioncastShock_Monster__WildeThingy
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    FelineMurder______
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Last week of school for Babygirl. Then we have a glorious summer together.
    I'll be visiting a few friends.. By friends I mean wineries.

    • 33
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramerDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilemmakswanTweetingDadGuyAspersioncastHallpassCanada
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    DaddyNick________natsincapetownSamigrl2Mi_SSbehaved
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    I have 769 followers! Haha. I said 69.
    You follow me because I am so funny, right?

    • 30
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinStephenBCramerLicNips__________GonzoPhilColoChiverTweetingDadGuyAspersioncastHallpassCanada
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    GonzoPhilSheltonChadEl_nacho_NigreSusanandTrixie
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    #supermodelgameshows Meal or no Meal?

    • 28
    • FAVS
    CanadianMclovinJasonBerlinGonzoPhilemmakswanAspersioncastDanKCharnleyRealPrincessKimomgplstop
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    kittycat821_Ms_Moneypenny_El_nacho_NigreVegasWalkinDudeAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
@augtopia

@augtopia

I am a real Suburban Mother! I like wine and more wine. trying to empty my nest. Go Beavs!