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How many times is normal to use the "F" word or take the Lord's name in vain while holiday decorating? Should I ask Santa for an exorcism?
From the sound of your tweets today, I'm worried that some of you are aren't getting enough fiber.
Asked Hubby if he puts the dishes away right at his girlfriend's house. Judging from blank stare, she hasn't been able to train him either.
We named our wifi "FBI van"
This whole "twitter wanting you to invite friends" shit is depressing. If we had friends, would we be on twitter?
Discovered the neighbor cat has been sleeping in laundry room. Hubby says its the room I never use. They both have nice beds in there now.
If it weren't for texting, I could never have a civilized conversation with my offspring.
Relatives are saying niece can't have a bridal shower cuz she's living w/ her betrothed. What the fuck century are we living in again?
Getting just like Facebook with all the birthdays on here. BTW, mine's in June and I'm registered at most Oregon Wineries.
What I did for ME this moms day. Planted flowers in my friends yard who is newly in remission (multiple myeloma).
Feels good to be selfish.
I'm supposed to start "hormone replacement."
I am hoping to replace them with something more cool like telepathy or the ability to levitate.
Do you people have any idea how much wine it takes to stay married to the same man for 30 years?
So glad my kids are older & I don't have to do Easter Baskets. I open the doors to their filthy rooms, toss in money & let them hunt for it.
"Buy me a drink young man, and I won't describe my episiotomy"
Mom's weekend pickup line!
What is it with my kids and their virtual umbilical cords. Mama's gettin' her drink on. And tweeting. Go play in traffic.
Even though it seems like a good idea financially to have your child go to community college & live at home, you will spend more in wine.
Why are girls bike riding & playing tennis on this tampon wrapper? WHERE are the ones with big knives and wine bottles?
Babygirl had to have a throat swab and the doctor made a comment on her lack of gag reflex. Now it's the friggin' nunnery for her!
Last week of school for Babygirl. Then we have a glorious summer together.
I'll be visiting a few friends.. By friends I mean wineries.
Hausfrau of your dreams... let's meet for wine! #gobeavs
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