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  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    What wine goes with I fucking hate the grocery store.

    • 153
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerwhatitsmenejHardcoorsThePinkDuchezz____tallateacareylikeswine1par8headrayyyych
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejClareBarryHardcoorsThePinkDuchezz____VickiVSartincareylikeswine1par8headrayyyych
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    How many times is normal to use the "F" word or take the Lord's name in vain while holiday decorating? Should I ask Santa for an exorcism?

    • 83
    • FAVS
    whatitsmenejcynicanoldicusI_Am_Iron_Dad____JasonBerlinPsycholaneGonzoPhilColoChiverColin_Kona
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejtorimaceachernFuriousBoyScoutsnydShhhhTrustMe______Reverend_ScottSynapticChasmsbooblyss
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    From the sound of your tweets today, I'm worried that some of you are aren't getting enough fiber.
    :-(

    • 73
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramercynicanoldicusJasonBerlinPsycholaneLicNips__________GonzoPhilColoChiveremmakswan
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    GonzoPhilmisstee_virgomochanyaFavstar500FavsShock_MonsteroldgreypopsCanadianCynDawnLovesZombie
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Asked Hubby if he puts the dishes away right at his girlfriend's house. Judging from blank stare, she hasn't been able to train him either.

    • 64
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerwhatitsmenejA_SmartAsscynicanoldicusshagen1123Sarica77I_Am_Iron_Dad____JasonBerlin
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejrnbny81shagen1123I_Am_Iron_Dad____sarahbellum22itsaRawDawgArtMatters2meDawnLovesZombie
    Sister_Roberta
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    We named our wifi "FBI van"

    • 49
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerA_SmartAssJasonBerlinDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilDanKCharnleyRickRjm0377hhagars
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    RickRjm0377The_Real_Tao______aGirlNamedSassyemmakswan6oessTonyzTigergangsterball666DorsonKieffer____
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    This whole "twitter wanting you to invite friends" shit is depressing. If we had friends, would we be on twitter?

    • 37
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerwhatitsmenejA_SmartAssTattooedMiseryrjodeh54NCSUMsJudyJonestigeryinyangrebelliousDB
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejandedossCM2BTTHDNuIIPointerstaforilynneclarke4adelusionistFireWoman516______
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    If it weren't for texting, I could never have a civilized conversation with my offspring.

    • 47
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramercynicanoldicuswhatitsmenejCMeier324ThePinkDuchezz____BoutCrazedgrimpossibleJasonBerlin
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejCMeier324ThePinkDuchezz____BoutCrazedNikkki_RCunda22Aspersioncastosigat
    Aspersioncast
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Discovered the neighbor cat has been sleeping in laundry room. Hubby says its the room I never use. They both have nice beds in there now.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerwhatitsmenejcynicanoldicusJasonBerlinDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilColoChiveremmakswan
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejcjs3471HallpassCanadaCLB_7canadianatlargeCanadianCynmerryjenlvaaronasellars
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Relatives are saying niece can't have a bridal shower cuz she's living w/ her betrothed. What the fuck century are we living in again?

    • 54
    • FAVS
    whatitsmenejJasonBerlinGonzoPhilColoChiveremmakswanAspersioncastJennifergr8JulieWahoo
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar_NSFW_Ms_Moneypenny_theschmeltzEl_nacho_Nigre
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Getting just like Facebook with all the birthdays on here. BTW, mine's in June and I'm registered at most Oregon Wineries.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramercynicanoldicuswhatitsmenejJasonBerlinDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilColoChiverVeroniKaboom
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejaGirlNamedSassyemmakswanHallpassCanadathatcarlygirlwallpaper_words__DaddyNick________HerHighness87
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    What I did for ME this moms day. Planted flowers in my friends yard who is newly in remission (multiple myeloma).
    Feels good to be selfish.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerwhatitsmenejJasonBerlinGonzoPhilemmakswanJTQuestAspersioncastJennifergr8
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenej1evilidiotfavstar_popbeerNcheer______MeanOldManMike____faultymoonpieCM2BTTHD
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    I'm supposed to start "hormone replacement."
    I am hoping to replace them with something more cool like telepathy or the ability to levitate.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerbeckyiniowacalluptomeRealPrincessKimonedavedeepNostradamAssHatcynicanoldicusJasonBerlin
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    LaurieRichteronedavedeepcynicanoldicuspolyhumorousICountBeanssVinoTica__________WilliamAder
    polyhumorous
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    "Buy me a drink young man, and I won't describe my episiotomy"
    Mom's weekend pickup line!

    • 39
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerJeni_DeckerwhatitsmenejJasonBerlinDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilColoChiveremmakswan
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    whatitsmenejosigatonedavedeepEl_nacho_Nigre
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    What is it with my kids and their virtual umbilical cords. Mama's gettin' her drink on. And tweeting. Go play in traffic.

    • 37
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramercynicanoldicuswhatitsmenejJasonBerlinDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilColoChiveremmakswan
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    jrodgptx__CCARTXMeshaK___________HallpassCanadaLanecat2MarsCamper________
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Even though it seems like a good idea financially to have your child go to community college & live at home, you will spend more in wine.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramercynicanoldicusColoChiverAllyMel23MissTittesseeskeeter4321LutherGKnightpolyhumorous
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    pecove85kihugiskeeter4321LutherGKnightMkjkfitzgeraldswbelievescrazycircles_WhoFdTheStork
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Babygirl had to have a throat swab and the doctor made a comment on her lack of gag reflex. Now it's the friggin' nunnery for her!

    • 38
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinGonzoPhilColoChiveremmakswanAspersioncastShock_MonsterWildeThingyCanadianCyn
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    FelineMurder______
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Last week of school for Babygirl. Then we have a glorious summer together.
    I'll be visiting a few friends.. By friends I mean wineries.

    • 32
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerDawnLovesZombieGonzoPhilemmakswanTweetingDadGuyAspersioncastHallpassCanadaNsainSanity
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    DaddyNick________natsincapetownSamigrl2Mi_SSbehaved
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    I have 769 followers! Haha. I said 69.
    You follow me because I am so funny, right?

    • 29
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerLicNips__________GonzoPhilColoChiverTweetingDadGuyAspersioncastHallpassCanadaCanadianCyn
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    GonzoPhilSheltonChadEl_nacho_NigreSusanandTrixie
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    #supermodelgameshows Meal or no Meal?

    • 27
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinGonzoPhilemmakswanAspersioncastDanKCharnleyRealPrincessKimomgplstopkittycat821
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    kittycat821_Ms_Moneypenny_El_nacho_NigreVegasWalkinDude
  • augtopia
      cathy @augtopia

    Long trains, another great twitter opportunity!

    • 26
    • FAVS
    GonzoPhilemmakswanTweetingDadGuyAspersioncastWildeThingyCanadianCynThe_DorksterSergioValenCo
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    NatetheEnigmaEagle_VisionchriscroctearsEl_nacho_Nigre
@augtopia

@augtopia

I am a real Suburban Mother! I like wine and more wine. trying to empty my nest. Go Beavs!