@aurora00's (Who Am I?) most faved Tweets...
If you star this tweet, I will send you a free baby tiger (in my mind).
People don't care that you are having a meltdown until you slash their tires.
I could never be homeless. Too much to carry.
I got new pillows for my couch the other day. I know no one cares, but I am telling you anyway, because this is twitter.
Ever tweet something lame and then obsessively check your follower list to make sure none of the cool people unfollowed you?
I can't wait for my mid-life crisis. I know exactly what I want for my tramp stamp.
Sometimes I wish I had taken more pictures of my ass when I was 22.
My Mom is worried that I have fallen in with the rowdy Twitter crowd.
It hurts to sit down. I am not gonna say why.
Doing research online to see what mental illnesses I have. So far I am just "fucking crazy."
I am scared to log into Facebook. So many people to avoid, so little time.
I am like a chocoholic, but for booze.
Thinking about doing meth so I have the energy to look for a job.
Notice: if you tweet anything about poop, boobs, or tigers, you'll get a star from me.
I bet I'd get more followers if I only knew the secret to whiter teeth.
Albatrosses are not only big birds, they are very useful metaphorically.
Mark Twain wasn't racist. That's the whole point of the effing book.
I am about to purchase a custom-made Princess Leia outfit. For Halloween, you understand.
I missed y'all while twitter was down. It was like the time when all the voices in my head stopped.
#3wordsaftersex my jaw hurts
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