Is it duck tape or duct tape? Either way there's a hooker in the trunk

Is, steal a tweet Sunday a thing yet?

I don't like morning people

Or mornings.....

Or people....

Your IQ test came back negative

Nothing fucks up my Friday like realising its Tuesday

Hey @richmond_fc did you know, of all AFL teams (we'll include GWS) you have the 4th largest twitter followers. #gotiges Every1 RT to add

I'm maturing. I have a 5 year plan that doesn't use the sentences "don't get arrested" or "try not to die"

Your outfit says you work in an office but your shoes tell me it has a pole

You're about as useful as Anne Franks drum set.

Ever think Cupid is real? He's just always smacked out on meth or drunk?

#Ehrmagerd #Cats http://t.co/X40zjhxc

Twitter is like my secret lover

Don't know what day god created boobs... But they're better than light

125 lovers/haters. Either way. Cheers

Making a point is not my goal - AFL players

Had my midlife crisis at 23.... Take that for "under-achiever"

If I can make you laugh and I didn't take my pants off then I'm doing well

Just doing a survey on how annoying surveys are

#AmericanPsychoTour
@rweau for all/more information or for FaceBook users http://t.co/GHTjXrK7
#AmericanPsychoTour

Deer tried to rape me. Tried to FAWNicate with me.