@avi1111's (avi ) most faved Tweets...
Having friends in soul-sucking, mind-numbing relationships always makes me glad I'm single, and have HD.
According to TV ads, you're depression-free when you feel like bringing your husband a fruit platter.
Sometimes I'll be driving along reading my Twitter and all of a sudden I'll realize "Holy fuck I'm driving!"
Unfortunately, my bladder has trained itself to wake me up every morning at 5am. It's like A Clockwork Yellow.
When I tweeted about my neighbor's loud early am breakup, I forgot to add the part about moving from room to room with my ear on the floor.
Antonio Banderas says he won't leave Melanie Griffith while she's in rehab. "I'm the only one who knows exactly how to mix her cocktails".
I'm believing whoever unfollows me are homophobic Republicans, rather than entertaining the possibility they don't think I'm funny.
That star pulsated for a long time after clicking it. I heard tiny moaning sounds, and my laptop screen fogged up a bit.
The Hoff fell down after an "ear infection" related accident. He needs to quit pouring booze into them.
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