An amazing set of boobs means nothing without a decent and good heart underneath.

We are being awfully optimistic to say "killing time" as if time was not the one killing us, one second at a time..

The perfect partner is someone who knows what they have when they have it not when they lose it.

Awesome sex should always hurt a little specially after, love shouldn't.

I have the cure for bald people, just glue a puppy to your head women love puppies and like to pet them too.

Protip: being the prettiest is not worth a damn if you suck at giving head.

A real puppy not a fucking chihuahua you might as well catch a rat and glue it instead.

I'm walking proof of how "God's perfect work" can go horribly horribly wrong and still be perfect in some ways.

I'm old enough to remember when tattoos and piercings were "underground" and a big NO, way before tramp stamps and everyone having one.

I'm gonna be thankful for the iphone and how it's great for avoiding human contact on any occasion.

I do get mad and I also get even, and then I get even again and again and again until eventually get bored so I forget what was I mad about.

Lo unico bonito de que gane Peña Nieto es que le voy a poder mentar la madre en ingles y el pendejo ni se va a enterar #PeñaNietoPresidente

Thanks for never being there when I needed you, taught me to get over you really fast.

We are what/who we fuck so in that regard I used to be a wet sock with a superiority complex.

To all of you who can't spell masturbate, you shouldn't be doing it if you can't even spell it geniuses.

I have the remedy for a broken heart ladies, and this really worked for me just drink wine and date an italian guy.

Tip for guys if that girl is making you miserable a lot of the time then the sex it's not worth it.

Don't feel bad if you are lonely today feel awful that is your own fault for being so pathetic and unlovable.

My job would be much easier and better if I didn't have any coworkers, or clients or people around, fuck I just want to stay in bed.

Being faithful goes beyond not having sex with others, it means you rather be with the person you love when you can have anyone.