Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Boy, I like your jawline.
Dance parties should always with bloodshed.
Lol, drinking coffee like I'm actually going to get some work done.
My family just got into a fight over cantalope. <3
"Let me cry on your face"
Sometimes I wear bright lipstick to detract from the fact that the rest of my face looks like the inside of a monkey's anus.
"Tried to put some Christmas music on.... Ended up listening to Radiohead instead." - proof my mom is cooler than yours.
Put me on an IV of knowledge.
"Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted"
My inability to flirt astounds me.
Procrastinating by watching inspirational videos.
It always makes me slightly uncomfortable when people tell me I look like my brother because he has a beard.
Going our of your way to makes someone feel stupid doesn't make you any smarter.
Also, the fact that I had to remove the apostrophes from that last tweet to make it all fit makes me want to jump in a pit of glass.
I have the personality of brussel sprouts COOKED IN AWESOME
Remember when Nirvana was cool? Neither do I, I'm still a fetus in my mother's womb.
Maybe if I stare aimlessly into space for long enough a vortex will open up that will swallow me whole.
My ability to create situations of gruesome self harm increase substantially when I'm forced to do work.