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Slytherin bitches have the tightest snitches #HPTOTD
Shut up and put on a pizza bikini
Pretty disappointed to find out that Ash Wednesday has nothing to do with the Evil Dead series. #boomstick
I wonder how many books worth of words I've wasted reading tweets.
I want to see what a sonic screwdriver can do with a clit.
Sounding profound takes more courage than sense.
My biggest twitter demographic is barely legal chicks from Texas and dudes that want to wear their skin like a suit.
Real dumb is way way hotter than fake dumb
Twitter makes people think they're a good 3 points higher than they actually are on the 1-10 hot scale.
Sunday is made for tunes, bong hits, and blow jobs.
If its got tits or tires, it’s probably gonna give you trouble.
A beard full of cum sounds like a catalyst to night terrors.
Less try-hards more die-hards.
Yo Kurt Cobain, Imma let you finish, but Dead from Mayhem had the best shotgun suicide of all time.
Hufflepuff puff pass.
Mother/Daughter babe watching in a Whole Foods parking lot.
My goals at 26 years old are the same as at 8 years old— to live in the Addams family house.
Twitter — the best way to passive aggressively talk shit about your exes since 2005.
ODB was so fucking metal.
Guitars and growls for gore-obsessed thrashers AXESLASHER. 666 Satanic pizza shirts here: http://t.co/rWqX9w26 Gucci Gucci here: http://t.co/sfS84WZV