@ayzsky's (Sky Y.) most faved Tweets...
When my overly religious, annoyingly preachy neighbor dies, will it be okay for me to celebrate because we both got what we wanted?
Why, oh MF'ing why, did I ever agree to go to this family reunion? It's 3 weeks away and I'm already starting to weave my basket case.
One day I'm going to have a planet named after me. Pretty sure it'll be a giant gaseous one that is cold, inhospitable, hostile & barren.
Aw, man. I just starred like 20 tweets & none of my stars stuck. That's like going down to the homeless shelter & handing out Monopoly $.
If my 82 y.o. stepfather is going to behave like a teenager, he could at least hide some pot in his room for me to find when I clean it.
Seriously. I'd make a terrible juror. Anyone who asks me to decide anything hasn't seen me agonize over a dessert menu.
You win some.
You lose some.
You drink some.
You screw some.
Uhm, if that was any of you last night, I need my shoes back.
You lose some.
You drink some.
You screw some.
Uhm, if that was any of you last night, I need my shoes back.
I fear Twitter has forever corrupted me. When I write, I no longer put TWO spaces after every period.
Don't look at me! I'm hideous! *sob*
Don't look at me! I'm hideous! *sob*
Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Tomorrow will be too. And the next day. Doesn't seem so special now, does it?
Today I'm not feeling funny. Nor is it feeling me. We're like an old married couple just feebly trying to fart in each other's face.
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I don't drink. So of course I remember every moment of the weekend. Every soul crushing, mind numbingly boring, eye stabbing minute of it.
16
No matter where I go, I’m always 15 minutes late. There’s a lesson to be learned here. Everyone, I’m always going to be 15 minutes late.
16
I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time these days. But just think, only 30-40 more years of this and it'll all be over.
16
My prince is running very late. Or maybe he stood me up. Do you think he's ever coming? Stupid prince. Who wants a guy in tights anyway.
16
Damn it! Every time I'm interested in a guy, he's married or gay or a kidney eating sewer mutant or a Republican. Or all of the above.
14
You tweeps that got featured in "twitter wit" think you're SO special. Well *I* was a case study in the AMA's Psychiatry Journal. So there!
14
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