America's Got Talent at giving blow jobs and not swallowing

I've created workout plan. Foga. It's yoga for fat people. Just put the remote 5in further away than normal, reach til you start to sweat.

saying LOL after every fucking phrase in a text message. Hey motherfucker, grow the fuck up you aren't 13 you are fucking 30!

punk rock used to be cool, until this faggy emo kids ruined everything. go listen to real music, BROKENCYDE can suck my BROKENDICK

two brown blunts don't make a white joint but they will get you fresh as fuck.

TECHNO DANCE PARTY!!!!!!!!! BOOM DISSS BOOOM BOOM DISS BOOM DISS BOOM BOOM DISSS

Brown guy walks into a bar.


BOOM!

hitting the door hinge to make it sound like a boner

lookin at buying a macbook, hopefully the white one so i can go full twink

oh you silly money shot. how is she gonna clean that up?

REALLY? THAT WAS THE TWEET OF THE DAY?

I just drank an old watermelon fourloko and it reminded me of how not black I am not.

My girlfriend thinks I just want sex all the time. Little does she know I want her to pay my bills and buy me beer.

fuck me I couldn't get hard enough.. story of my life

hey girl, send nudes

That time you forgot the name of your date and called her baby all night long.

I'm sorry sweetie, but *whore* is not your color.

Nothing to see here. Just walking off my this erection.

it feels like someone ran over me with a bulldozer, related why does my butthole hurt

I remember the time I fapped in my office. Now I find myself sneaking in to random office buildings to fap in empty cubicles.