Eat shit and die: life cycle of the dung beetle

Strange...

She didn't seem to realize that "fuckbucket" is a term of endearment.

Women are weird...

Lounging on the couch, eating fried chicken and reading an exercise book.

Mysteriously, I am not losing weight.

I'd eat more fruit if it tasted like Mountain Dew.

Imagine... something as easy to peel as a clementine, but fizzy and Mountain Dewy.

I'll take a good swallow over a lovebird any day.

In hindsight, all the girls I've fucked have two things in common, weird noses,

And boyfriends.

I could do without the boyfriends.

Out of context quote of the day: "you just ate their sneeze"

This shitfucking ingrown hair on my cock has put me hoping part of my cock gets smaller.

I could've sworn I'd never say that.

Ever.

Crap... Slept too long... I'm 1138 messages behind. Should I skip them, or prove that I'm a Star Wars geek and read em for THX1138's sake?

They call it the Error Proof Test because it's proof she made an error.

Called him dickbagel
Really not sure what that is
Oversized cock ring

#haiku

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