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I want a wife who won't judge me and cook bacon EVERY morning. Is that too much to ask?
I want del taco in my face
If we start dating and I find out you can juggle like 6 months into the relationship, I might be a little pissed.
Whoaaa. I should come to whole foods just to pick up chicks! Spent my whole paycheck... but tons of lesbians! Yay!
I need to date another prison guard. Hottttt.
more sacks before half-time during the bears/giants game than at the castro street fair today
My dad just called Obama an "Islamic terrorist". Seriously send in backup. I'm going insane.
I need to stop hooking up with straight women.
I. Don't. Even. Know.
Watching Teen Mom and am thinking, again, that I am SO lucky to be gay. You know, because lesbians can't get pregnant on accident
Jeezus. Free pancakes at Ihop yesterday and 29% off of your Denny's bill today. I would have been a cheap date this week, ladies!
phone number from the area code of my hometown (not a contact in my phone) sent me a pic of a plate of bacon. Whoever you are, I thank you
I hate when people say "everything happens for a reason." No, sometimes it happens because of Patron shots. Sorry I party.