The only way I could hate the Miami Heat more is if they were called the Miami Humidity.

Just ate a disappointing plum. I'm living in a Morrissey song.

Have they arrested that Nazi war criminal in Minnesota? Or is he still free to watch and root for the Heat tonight?

Take An Angry Kodiak Bear To Work Day seemed like a good idea on paper.

Mad Men in :07  https://vine.co/v/hBrJrXzFuMH 

@benrector I like to be occasionally reminded of the goal of the sporting event I'm watching.

Father's Day shoutout to Jor-El, who had the foresight to send his son to a country that speaks Krypton.

"Congratulations! It's a spin-off!"

Nice nod to Field of Dreams by having Kevin Costner's character killed during a game of catch with Superman.

"I cried because I had no feet, but then I saw a guy wearing those weird rubber toe shoes and now I can't stop laughing."

Just saw Man of Steel. Not super, man.

I'll be celebrating my birthday the traditional way, by barging naked into a room full of strangers and crying.

Is this Superman movie about how he finds his red shorts?

I remember a time when journalists gave a damn and a slideshow of 15 puppies meant you were going to see CUTE puppies!

@johnroderick Dude. You met alternate universe Roderick.

Like all the great prophets before him, Kanye's real message is "buy my new signature Nike sneakers."

The Heat lost by 36 last night, in case you're a Miami fan and forgot.

@thebosha Only on the inside.

Thanks to the humidity, I'm having an excellent pube day.

I'll never have enough confidence to wear sunglasses indoors.