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If you need sleeping pills to sleep, caffeine to stay awake, alcohol to have fun and television to be amused, do you really exist at all?
The only thing sadder than divorce is a failed marriage that does not end.
The human body is 50 trillion cells organized in 78 organs and 1000s of perfectly tuned systems ruled, in most cases, by an idiot.
All the different varieties of alcohol are just a charade to make you think you're cultured instead of addicted.
As a rule, Paradise turns into Hell as soon as you move there.
The most valuable superpower isn't seeing through walls but accurately perceiving what's right in front of you.
Do not assume a person who is successful in one area has any skills in another. Often that success came at the cost of everything else.
Perseverance is important at times, but let us not forget the essential art of strategic retreat.
Smart people: "I made a mistake. How can I change?" Stupid people: "A mistake was made. Who can I blame?"
One of the prerequisites of wisdom is recognizing what an idiot you have been.
Nearly all rejections are blessings in disguise.
Religion is the refuge of the narcissist. There's no better support for your specialness than thinking God knows you personally.
The standard adult behavior pattern is to repeat the same activities over and over unless disaster forces a change.
There is no such thing as "safety". The most you can hope for is a balance of risks.
Intelligence is the ability to separate emotions from facts.
To a dog, there are no bad smells, only information.
"The emperor has no clothes!" cried the boy, at which point the secret police took him away and he was never heard from again.
Most people are poor autodidacts because they find any excuse to delay learning. A true self-learner does it now!
Intelligence is not a quality of the brain but a personal decision to follow reason over convenience.
Human evolution has not ended. It has simply bifurcated, with smart lineages getting smarter and dumb ones getting dumber.
Travel and existential wisdom from the Dalai Lama's evil twin. Author of 'The Case Against Marriage'.