Found my cat shut in the greenhouse. Who does she think she is? David bloody Blaine? Tosser.

Oh i can never unsee that can I? RT @glinner: Best/worst Awkward Family Photo ever http://t.co/8Oo8o0l (via @crazycolours)

@thesimonevans Mary had a little lamb, she tied it to a pylon 10000 volts shot up it's bum and turned it's wool to nylon #nurserycrimes

I'm off to spend the morning discovering how my boobs work, I'm hoping there's secret Easter eggs

@tinathewife What's brown and sticky and runs round a field?


A fence
#crackerjokes

@tinathewife welcome home, perhaps this might help distract you?  http://www.rmctf.org.uk/uploads/GC.4.jpg …

When the baby wakes up I have to go help clear out the garage *desperately sings lullabies*

'Cuntradiction' a bigot's justification ie I think gays should be treated equally but we should keep marriage special #bbcqt

@tinathewife @amytriptyline1 @smithslog Max was born 4.40 last Thursday am, 8lb8, all very well and happy thanks :) x  http://yfrog.com/h2kxcwgj 

Cornish roads  http://yfrog.com/ocss3aejj 

Starting the new year by remembering that I've forgotten to tax my car.

Lets all have a #newyearsrevolution and overthrow this fuck awful government.

@ihpower fab ill have one please

Watergate Bay  http://yfrog.com/h2w4fxqj 

Finding "steam wand" hilarious

@origami_owl my sister's go to photo face #favouritesgrid  http://yfrog.com/ochplpumj 

I've just seen Rick Stein's gash

@smithslog I'm gonna get you this for Coconuts :) MT @dreegs: Need a Christmas present for a cyclist? Why not Trotify?  http://trotify.com/ 

Cameron is such a little bitch and he doesn't seem to care who knows it #leveson

Blood tests and a trip to the benefits office today, why Monday you are spoiling me!