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Who put all these daggers in my Caesar salad?
"Ha Ha Roscommon are rubbish" people from counties that only have about 1% more Yes votes
The office is the modern day mine but there is no canary to let you know when you are dying
"I'm great but do others know Im great?"
People on Facebook
boxing clever sounds way better than bullying the kid with glasses
growing up means suddenly realising that the cowboys were the bad guys and the Indians were the good guys
Drinking cider from a wine glass because FUCK washing up
Ok so just found out rabies aren't rabbit babies!
A male's testes make about 5,000 sperm a second.so Im not just lying on the couch doing nothing
Im allergic to prison it always causes me to break out!
Anyone who says I'm not manly can talk to my freshly manicured hand!
Drug-sniffing dogs are wrong more than 50% of the time. The important thing is that they admit it and grow from the experience
If an interviewer asks what have you been doing for the last 8 years dont say "chillin" say "perfecting my swag" it sounds more businesy
A condom can carry up to 2 litres of liquid so why does it say on the packet to only use them once?
Which 1 of these is actually the word?
The Moon is now about 18 times further away from Earth than when it was formed 4.5 billion years ago,amazing how you grow apart over time
comedian,poet,musician,host, list maker #funny
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