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Who put all these daggers in my Caesar salad?
"Ha Ha Roscommon are rubbish" people from counties that only have about 1% more Yes votes
The office is the modern day mine but there is no canary to let you know when you are dying
"I'm great but do others know Im great?"
People on Facebook
Just had a son
I think he is great
boxing clever sounds way better than bullying the kid with glasses
growing up means suddenly realising that the cowboys were the bad guys and the Indians were the good guys
Drinking cider from a wine glass because FUCK washing up
Im allergic to prison it always causes me to break out!
Oh my what a beautiful day outside better close these curtains to get the shine off the tv screen
Having a baby is a lot like having a baby oh god im so tired
If an interviewer asks what have you been doing for the last 8 years dont say "chillin" say "perfecting my swag" it sounds more businesy
Fuck jokes i only laugh at baby farts now
Next year i will teach a course on stalking- more information to follow
Poor bono having to constantly fly to ireland to pretend he is still part of irish society every time a stadium rock outfit comes to dublin
comedian,poet,musician,host,actor, sketch writer, list maker #funny
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