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I've just had some Christmas soup for lunch - it reminded me off all the things I dislike about Christmas but in a soup
Can I have a new boyfriend please
Bloke next to me is tweeting. Can't see username. I so want to send
'I like your red baseball cap. It makes me wet in the gusset area '
The Boy and The Girl are having a tickling fight. I'm collateral damage. Might be time to move. Another foot in the bladder and I'm toast
Suppose I should get out of bed and into that there shower. Ready myself for my exciting day ....
The Boy wants ham for his toy T Rex, Terry. Mr B said no, use play ham. Wtf is 'play ham ' ?
ahhhh....I love the smell of remorse in the morning #shiteboyfriend
*polishes MILF badge *
It would appear that onesies divide the twitter nation.Two great armies will form - the ones in onesies, the others in standard lounge wear
In other news I had to tell an old dear that she'd tucked her skirt into her knickers on the way in. It will haunt me for ever
Please RT if you think egg nog is the batter of Satan !
Today is not going well. I've managed to give myself a black eye and I've burnt my teacake
Native of the Peoples Republic of South Yorkshire. Saucy and a bit sweary. I work in a library...don't let that put you off