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  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    "No. Delete it." -Mona Lisa

    • 7,870
    • FAVS
    adityatshahctwill732DogeMcJonesIyerOnFire_Lazy_BrahminHannibal_BaggaFarheenHaiderPranavChhajed
    • 8,563
    • RETWEETS
    KearynKD35adityatshahhip_shootermaluna08ctwill732TheCarbuncleSalman_Khalafiganowak_
    benbrouckaertcrylenoliamyourguy__yoyohaChelseaK22shanenickersondonni
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    If only Zimmerman had taken this long to decide if someone was guilty.

    • 4,210
    • FAVS
    alliem76tayloriversemma_kunardjazberryMissRheaDawnnishadtrivedipompeoslovato__K3ng_Alona
    • 8,644
    • RETWEETS
    ADepperulzskebrownsnatchaweaveCreatorclsvandigirlocybeleknowlesyoungmami2002felwa_als
    JeremiahLeelawblob
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    There should be a background check before the NRA is allowed to buy a senator.

    • 1,803
    • FAVS
    nishadtrivediBurds_1RossSclafaniAMatchIntoZone6JacobVail1_kt101mphestrella_starcee_ryan
    • 3,881
    • RETWEETS
    RoofbeamistartyomDWCNavianalucycarinCynisthemoveLoganMurphy1PlagueLoversskebrown
    neuroticalmeSpencerLenox
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    My last fart sounded like a dying old woman calling out for her husband Frank.

    • 2,433
    • FAVS
    Twobit333afterthatsummernotjonbuckleymariebewaernsoleilbeniBurds_1Home_Halfwaytrellyshazwan
    • 2,719
    • RETWEETS
    Twobit333JimmyLangiNyagah_livvayeTyson_MyersSlyGuyCoopoldacccccc__MollyAndPies
    theNuzzyluvmyADHDFooFooKachu
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    Sochi: come for the Olympics, stay because you died.

    • 2,875
    • FAVS
    afterthatsummercollins_declanConnorNielenimlaurielooney_bin_ehankssheisartmoneyooppbb1
    • 2,113
    • RETWEETS
    Glenners_TPrissyCrowtoekneedenboklaurenjpaylorTheAnnaGatMichaelLloyd98kennstevens______auddd14
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.

    • 2,371
    • FAVS
    afterthatsummerJoshPetersen7nitsujcostonPS_IRuddYouLBR_RDYchrisrusakMiciuraddchib
    • 2,192
    • RETWEETS
    JoshPetersen7nitsujcostonlov3spongenotsleeepingJuliaCalebgfaMiciurachangesq
    missmaynCaseyMcCollumcurlycomedy
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    This coffee is so strong it just raised 5 children on a nurse's salary.

    • 2,574
    • FAVS
    afterthatsummerCutipada__g_arandanoPhaksNhlumayo__SkeithtaceyHome_HalfwayItsLibbyBeesethburning
    • 1,943
    • RETWEETS
    lov3spongeg_arandanoWakeup_AwaresethburningafredorapLetdownLizzieAOhB18JWTuck94
    stephandyersenderblock23
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    The Spy Who Loved Me But Wasn't, Like, IN Love With Me #RejectedBondTitles

    • 1,226
    • FAVS
    that_doughboybongsrippWigglesDJtnylgnthefabglamdivaquickpooperPlaying_DadJMoneyMC
    • 3,166
    • RETWEETS
    gnarcsthemanburglarphranqueighRushLedgerRuns_Wildmissmahmood______BigPapaGouletchloeacrowl
    TrainedHedonist
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    "Well, I have to be there at 7, so I'll leave at 7, which means I should shower at 7." -people I'm meeting

    • 2,854
    • FAVS
    20EdnamartinezbonjourkylieJMMalyonBrookeFoley_Yo_Simmity_SamlulacavilaLaffItUpFzbltroutflier
    • 1,277
    • RETWEETS
    WolwwlulacavilaLaffItUpFzblPabPasBreeannStoneeabbiereeddHowtowinfriendsAshleyKittyXO
    r_wolfcastle
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    Guns don't avoid critical thinking by leaning on tired aphorisms. People do.

    • 1,486
    • FAVS
    afterthatsummernishadtrivediechoesofmineEvanMoyleabbsterrsiptay3JoseWCortespontn
    • 2,438
    • RETWEETS
    echoesofmineCarltonHuntley1iptay3CarlJamesComedydrdgrcASecretTweetAmishPornStar1turndownfornaps
    BillMc7YUCKYBOT
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    It's only been a few days, but I'm starting to forget everything I knew about Mitch Romley.

    • 1,125
    • FAVS
    afterthatsummerCarlJamesComedytnylgnBackpackerBooiesavie_ceechemKittWendyKitchenerRememberNguyen
    • 2,284
    • RETWEETS
    caarintaylorchemKittFastFastBoomjalonbramespianogiordanoMrSkinnyGenesCheesehead_80JacquesLestrap
    KampSin
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    I hope you're using all the time you save by saying "totes" instead of a "totally" to learn a trade.

    • 1,228
    • FAVS
    joef_97m_vanderveen333JoshPetersen7jeffisgoddjtropsBurds_1silverankletKJo112
    • 2,088
    • RETWEETS
    Unreal_1saamxandersonJoshPetersen7shainamathewsSamantha_FrostMissRheaDawnfavstar_historyMariusStefi247
    RueBarb_
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks.

    • 1,871
    • FAVS
    FroogalStoodentBattyboy_69nishadtrivedisaoceMiahSaintmeganshpettitSimonosFcharassamou
    • 1,412
    • RETWEETS
    Zigs26Sherryshen19Ochy_ZacharyBosiamisanzomaldiniJaypeah_WaterSpriteVelcroVSlace
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    To get your porn name, take your local weatherman's name and that's it.

    • 1,583
    • FAVS
    benpepHornakFinnmuriel_roseOreostegSamGrittnerandrewpixley1miawrightsonCabreda
    • 1,355
    • RETWEETS
    rpeggersskebrownHallMeridithsnatchaweavekatestearnLordRaddingtonLesleyG_taBrooks
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    I'm very sorry to hear that the direct and predictable results of your actions happened to you.

    • 1,863
    • FAVS
    JMMalyonNatashaNoirchristi_powellpusssycat666JoshPetersen7jamieroquai25StewieButtmuddFinding_Niemi
    • 976
    • RETWEETS
    JoshPetersen7mamitacheriedhilliard74daiseeezEnjoylife234FoutyJeffreyjterryCVGShobanana
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    Block my tears, Tim Howard.

    • 1,345
    • FAVS
    notmikehaddixshaynadaleCoyneditTolkienWASPkochletttonitaxchereaTurner_HerbertSarktheShark
    • 1,360
    • RETWEETS
    hernandezedi22ummmheidivthoroyanrohithjyoPreschoolgermsechoes007E_ephantCallMeProof
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    Every neck tattoo should read "I'm not getting the job, am I?"

    • 717
    • FAVS
    izrigrodMiciurajeffisgoddKathyMariselleJoethePearsonAnacott4sethburningGingerHunk
    • 1,965
    • RETWEETS
    notsleeepingskebrownLauraBotero92theloveyoumakegiventofly41haylilappinsabinanilssontherickyross
    HairyJew4LifeadriankulpWritingWilkie
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    If Paul Ryan popped up in the first ten minutes of a Law and Order episode, you'd be all "oh, he's the killer".

    • 1,042
    • FAVS
    JcwalzLLKecklerSamRoskowskishaynasymonsMarkBrooksVA__NeighborGrumpyAdar79Angieerin4091
    • 1,601
    • RETWEETS
    MaeganEllioElfGrooveSDCerin4091PaperWashWingmanmartynevonajosh_wickcami_hollis
    SamGrittnerCognitive_DissjackmackenrothWhosTheresa
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    If you vote against Obama because he can't get stuff done, it's kinda like saying, "this guy can't cure cancer. I'm gonna vote for cancer."

    • 845
    • FAVS
    JesusGalvezPRitaEiroa__JinerskyAdronomoKillingJokeHDUnelarElvyneRhoswensecretdonkey
    • 1,726
    • RETWEETS
    margafackaError_humano______JenKBellEr_NiggaKillingJokeHDUnelarskebrownBigRetweets
    ChaseMitCutlerish
  • bazecraze
      Alex Baze @bazecraze

    Hell hath no fury like a woman slightly inconvenienced.

    • 855
    • FAVS
    ProfessionalOneEmmalexissnight_ragerPhaksNhlumayo__twilighteyes08myinanoBurds_1GabbyNichole96
    • 1,673
    • RETWEETS
    BeenBreezysssjayyycarisa_keatingminealone6gottalovebratassiekayMilkshakeAnyone__dewey_25
    lakeanagirlGuitarmacistNotJPoanjeanettecPARANOIDPLASTIC
@bazecraze

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Cynical shell. Soft, chewy center.