In retirement, the pope will continue to reject human rights for LGBT and women and to shield child molesters, but now only as a hobby.

Whenever a writer complains about deadlines, I wonder what it would be like to suffer the terrible burden of someone wanting my writing.

Woman across from me typing frantically on her laptop, face close to tears. I finally ask if she’s okay. “Oh, yes. Just writing my thesis.”

Is there anything sadder than a hipster trying to rake leaves in the rain with a broken rake? Funnier, I mean. Is there anything funnier?

My sinuses are waterboarding me today. Please make it stop. I'll talk. I swear I'll tell you anything you want to know if you just end it.

Why look, Kindleers, COUNTY LINE is now free on Kindle too (for a limited time)! http://amzn.to/n0LdVA

This seems to be the formula: 1) Have condescending nitwit write nitwittery about YA. 2) Receive billions of angry clicks 3) Profit.

RT @barryeisler: I rarely feel better about my govt than when it arms a regime that's now murdering its own people for demanding democracy.

I’m excited to watch corporations announce, one by one, who they’ll be hiring to make more in 1 year than I’ll make in 100 years. #nfldraft

I accept this as my new writing hut.  http://pinterest.com/pin/211174954662163/ …

via @theonion - Report: Watching Episode of 'Downton Abbey' Counts As Reading Book http://t.co/B42NOfyz

@victoriadahl I had to Google Reverse Cowgirl. Turns out it's the one we used to call the Awkward Misogynist.

My pal @jjochwat is donating $1 per comment on his blog to Heifer International. His blog is worth a visit anyhoo! http://bit.ly/gcHSnN

RT @dbgrady: I'd vote for any candidate who eliminated Daylight Savings Time. Even if he was ex-Al Qaida. Even if he was active Al Qaida.

OMG! Yes! RT @jjochwat: Gordon Pinsent reads Justin Bieber. OMFG. http://ow.ly/2Xiom (hat tip to @brentpiaskoski)

If I visit your web site and a box hides the content and tells me to “Like” your site on Facebook, I’m leaving and never coming back.

It’s not easy for me to admit this, but I fear there’s a lot more Ghostfacer in me than Winchester.

I keep expecting James Franco to rip his face off and reveal the unspeakable truth: beneath the mask he’s really Pauly Shore.

Oregon Is The Only State Left That Hasn’t Imposed Any Restrictions On Abortion  http://thkpr.gs/12cRNes  via @thinkprogress

Imagine if the sports press spent even 1% of the amount of time they’ve spent on Te’o talking instead about the rapists ND is protecting.