Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If your bio has the words "actor" and "model" in it, I'm assuming you're getting fucked in front of a camera.
Drinking wine out of a flower vase because all my dishes are dirty and I've given up on life.
Who are all you people?
Why are you more fascinating than people I know in real life?
Why do you all live so far away?
The sign clearly says 'Driving Range' - don't know why everyone is getting upset with me spinning tire donuts.
Me: You should be like milk.
Me: Because you'd have an expiry date & I could dump you before you become sour.
New plan: exclusively eat gas station burritos until HR has to talk to me about it.
If life gives you lemons, just imagine how crappy the gift from death's gonna be.
*pets friends dog*
My dog: whore
As a child, I was struck by lightning so my mom grounded me.
Never underestimate the number ways a complicated thing can be misunderstood by an ordinary person.
Look lady! If you didn't want me to join in your fucking conversation you ought not to be having it on the fucking bus!
if i had to get a glass eye, i'd make it a snow globe depicting the accident that cost me my eye
Silence: the smart persons defense mechanism when surrounded by stupid people.
I still read books that are printed on paper like a mother fucking caveman, and I plan on keeping it that way.
I don't want to sound like an alarmist, but I just saw Karma buying a 15 inch strap-on.
The guy who first said "The pen is mightier than the sword" is dead.
I'm just say'n.
I prayed and prayed for a bigger dick and all I got was a new boss...
When will Mythbusters ever visit a Church?
I've responded 'going' to every Facebook event that I've ever been invited to and I'm proud to say I've attended every single none of them.
♬ Hey Mister Taliban, tally me banana . . .♪♩
Baddest man in whole damn town
Like @bdbdleeroybrown’s tweets? Extend their Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Extend their Pro!