Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If you rub anything long enough something gross will happen.
To catch a bus you have to think like a bus
I'm pretty excited about putting a whole bunch of effort into my next disappointment.
I would rather follow someone with 50 followers that is cool than someone that has thousands and is a douchebag.
Imagine that. I just checked the dictionary and sexy doesn't mean "just skinny".
Look. Just tell us if its fucking Maybelline or not. The suspense is killing me
Twitter: I am a nymphomaniac, alcoholic who is down to fuck!
Reality: 40 year old office worker. Occasional drinker. Married. Lonely.
If you wish to see the person most likely to wreck your life, look in the mirror.
You can tell a vegan by their underwear, it's a little seedy.
I don’t trust people with trust issues.
If he doesn't grab your hips and pretend to bone when you bend over for something, it's not love. Or he's mature and well...boring.
*gay guy hits on me*
ME: I'm straight.
GAY GUY: So is spaghetti, until it's hot & wet.
If any man gets to have me, it's this dude...
I hate you but I still need your money.
Someone write that love song.
The word "sycophant" should mean "sick elephant."
Just realised Jesus can’t speak English, no wonder I’m not a rich and famous movie/rockstar/business mogul, who knows Aramaic?
I think opinions are a lot like orgasms. Mine will always be more important and I don't give a flying fuck if you have one.
If you love someone, set them on fire. If they come back, it's a phoenix
A man is someone who, after taking out the trash, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole fucking house.
I want a woman that makes my dick hard.
Not my life.
You don't have to put a fucking label on who you are, who you love or how you feel. Your actions, good or bad, will speak for themselves.