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Are we sure the 3 guys dressed up trying to enter Parliament House weren't just trick or treating?
Let your partner know you are ready to take your relationship to the next level by killing the big boss at the end of your current level.
Can someone let me know what ribbon colours are still available? I’d like to raise awareness of Ebola.
Is "being colour blind" the reason dogs don't wear clothes?
If I know anything about genetics the second one will be a ginger.
A tweet I wrote got featured on CNN. Footage of me being beheaded in the desert coming soon.
A little thankful that Betty white trending isn’t because she had some photos hacked.
Thanks a lot hackers, now those of us in long distance relationships have no chance of getting those pictures we’ve been asking for.
I was watching repeats of Becker the other day and I think I’ve worked it out. Ted Danson plays a doctor whose name is Becker.
I’m going to restructure my prayers into a click bait format:
“God, if you give me the ability to fly you won’t believe what I’ll do next!!”
Make searching for alien contact easier by weighing the earth every day and if the weight goes up we’ll know that the aliens have landed.
Sex is like maths, being really good at it doesn’t guarantee you won’t be doing it all by yourself.