@tonylarosa I want to teabag a unicorn!!! Will you teach me?

If I had balls, I'd be sweating them off right now. Community pool is like bath water

Beach volleyball here I come!

I'm 34. I should really decide what I want to be when I grow up

@dixieannbaker @famichelleua @hdaniele98 @sexinyc @cathysager @kristagreennj thanks for the sunshine! It's rainy here. But storms are great

"vaginas so hard motherfuckers wanna find me" just doesn't have same ring to it

@apwalshe cuz the guy that plays the huntsman is hot. Love Thor!

Doors confuse me. Push? Pull? Just be automated damn it!

Well crap!!! Doing leg press and the upper shin knee area just started to hurt! But I didn't do anything this time!!! Grrrrrrr

What's worse than my kids' inability to remember to flush the toilet after taking a dump?





My dog's breath after he fishes for turds.

Love how my son does sound effects for every action

@treywafer it was awesome!

Well that sucks, I get an interview, it goes awesome, but I don't want the job. I want a job I like

At goodwill for old furniture. Somebody took a dump in dressing room. Classy group of people here

Taking boys to Judo and then swimming laps. Just wish my head would stop pounding

Settle down, girl. You're not THAT hot

@excusememandi that makes me want a sister

Dropped of resume this morning for a pt position. Fingers crossed

You go ahead and work those yoga pants, I'll be out here working my bikini

Volleyball time