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Would Anne Frank have been a Belieber? No. In fact, millions blindly following an idiot is why she was in that attic.
To everyone mad about Joe Paterno's statue being taken down - just look the other way & pretend it's not happening.
No sex ed. No birth control. Pregnant? No abortion. Have a kid? Stay home. No income? No assistance. #GOPplanforwomen
Zuckerberg lecturing Obama on privacy is like, I don't know, lecturing on human rights from Russia?
Shoutout to the customer today who said, "I'm looking for a book called 'Collected Essays.' I don't know the author."
I don't understand how someone can have no regrets about killing someone. I have regrets over how I made dinner tonight.
Finally, a team brave enough to speak up for rich, white men. #RomneyRyan2012
No Country For Non-White Men #RepublicanMovies
It's now officially easier to break into the White House than it is to vote in Ohio.
'Twas the night before Christmas
And it was a scene
Man, folks are plain DONE
North Carolina, your status as the good Carolina is now under review.
Dick Cheney got a heart. Now if W. gets a brain and Colin Powell gets some courage, Condi can click her heels & go home.
I feel bad for unsexy vampires, forever trying to live up to the unrealistic expectations of media stereotypes.
Acceptable voting IDs in Texas include a driver's license, a gun license, or a Bush/Cheney 2004 bumper sticker.
Tampa to be declared a major disaster area next week. Also, there might be a hurricane.
The system ain't broke. It's fixed.
Bristol Palin is my least favorite Kardashian.
Ebola is Obamacare for Benghazi (?)
It's called a Republican wave because of all the poor and marginalized people who will be drowning.
The people who die vs. the people who live is bullshit, man.
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