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I took my Vicodin before going to the supermarket. In other words, I didn't go to the supermarket yet.
A clown based culture wherein your social station is determined largely in part on your ability to juggle
sext: I grow a beard. You tell me you like my beard. I immediately shave off my beard. A new pope is elected. I regrow my beard.
"What just happened? Who am I?"
(Searches pockets for ID, finds dark chocolate peanut butter cup.)
"That's okay then."
--me in "Memento"
Can we just stop having sports? Just until I die. You guys can do whatever afterwards.
Lucid dreaming is a fascinating area of study. Methods & goals differ but oneironauts agree if you smell sex & candy this surely is a dream.
As an adult, am I still supposed to eat dirt every now and again? Asking for a friend.
8:36pm I'm grateful for a reconnected Internet, warm water, a mug of cocoa, for Netflix & coffee, for middle acts of American life. Celery.
Don't usually share stuff like this, but...
Nice lookin' pair of sweater bricks. http://t.co/CwHaBKE1
Watching "Alfred Hitchcock Presents." great seeing the types of schemes people could get away with before the advent of security cameras.
Sometimes I open my mouth to burble pleasantries to a dumb customer and an unstoppable gush of pitch black spider-blood sprays out #LinkedIn
Oh, Portland General Electric. Your all-caps, bold notices scream ACT NOW TO AVOID SHUT-OFF but your saucy red envelopes suggest... amour.
Accidentally opened the Facebook app and was assaulted with well-meaning mediocrity.
You are officially the biggest freakin' lunatic in the world. Put that on your twitter. --my kid brother
