@beeborg's (bee chelse) most faved Tweets...
I keep boxes of Cadbury Creme Eggs in my freezer year-round and I don't care who knows it! Related: I'm single and no one loves me.
I was going to make a joke about hormones, but instead I killed my team of writers because they were annoying.
Today in medical school I learned how to give a breast exam, or in 14 year old boy speak, "Weee, I touched a boobie!!"
I knew he was the man of my dreams when, in the midst of expressing our carnal desire, he asked if I'd rather stop and go for ice cream.
I'm learning about cholera. Let's just say the novel should have been titled, "Love in the Time of Explosive Diarrhea."
Fine, cerebellum, I see how it is!! Try coordinating my movements after I feed you this six pack of wine.
I have this enormous feeling inside me, welling up, like a gyser fit to explode.
Urine is a feeling, right?
Urine is a feeling, right?
I came up with a way to stop disappointing people:
Aim low.
Disappointment is hard when you've just had your feet blown off.
Aim low.
Disappointment is hard when you've just had your feet blown off.
I just styled my hair and it looks like I have a meatloaf on my forehead. I should have been a beautician.
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