@beefranck's (Bridget ) most faved Tweets...
It is suspected that our cat Shampoo has feline asthma, so she has to take steroids. Does that mean she has to play professional baseball?
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Help me mark 6 months of unemployment next Monday! Place: Kitchen. Event: Eating a sandwich over the sink. Time: Whenever I remember to eat.
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Well. Enough Charles in Charge. I'd better get to work on that hardy new strain of dysentery I've been mutating.
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Anybody know where I can find a cross stitch pattern of a kid praying by a bed? Also, I'm sorry in advance.
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I have a phone interview in about an hour. I'm trying desperately to remember what it is that I used to do and that I was good at it.
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There is a restaurant down the street from the courthouse called Beef Village. Don't you DARE change, Illinois.
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You know when you want to say something but then you can't find the right... You know, those things with the letters and syllables?
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me: You're 20 minutes early, but hang on, I'll get your resume! candidate: *sigh* Whatever. me: OR we can just stop right here, fucknugget!
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I have only had two cups of coffee in the last seven days, and I am currently wearing a suit. That is all.
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Look, I'm sorry I wasn't wearing any pants when you got here, repair guy. To be fair, though, you were five minutes early. Five minutes!
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