@benmarvin @cw1nd @herrokirry our hood is awesome! #cemetarydrinking

HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA WISH SOMEONE WOULD TURN ON THE FUCKING AIR CONDITIONING

Bring your taco to work day.

"Her missing L goes in my 'bolth'."

A guy just sneezed on my foot a little but he's really hot?

So I'm at Chili's. Alone. This is a new low.

ONLY FOUR MORE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL #SUMMERSEVE2013!

Did somebody say tacos

Yippee ki yay motherfucker

First date idea: Ride a tandem bike off a cliff.

It's never too early for weird sex.

I'm about to throw an HTC one in the street.

I would like to say that I probably can’t drink @benmarvin under the table.

Yesterday I ate a burger that had fried mac & cheese patties as a bun and now everything without fried mac & cheese patties fucking sucks.

I feel like my Twitter accounts need a Wiki

How many yards have I peed in? Like, ever, or lately?

Damn boy, are you a Popsicle stand? Because I wanna blow you.

FOURTH MEAL IS REAL

*Kim is licking the wet ball of Prada bags she just gave birth to. Kanye takes off his sunglasses to reveal more sunglasses*

Sitting down.