My Oscar prediction: he's guilty.

@michaelianblack "Cut? Cut what? The budgets? The wrists of hardworking Americans? I'll tell you when to cut!" #possiblenewsroomdialogue

Australia's not racist. Heaps of my friends have black iPhones.

FRIENDS! I need a job! You know what I do: writing, copywriting, editing, web admin, PR, SEO marketing, content management etc. RTs pleases.

@johnmoe "I'm a SURVIVOR / you're a SURVIVOR / we're all SURVIVORS / all scream for ICE CREAM" - Beyonce, "Survivor"

I'm a lot like the Devil, except the only person I've convinced I don't exist is this waiter.

i touched a boob once. ok it was a frog. ok i didn't touch it.

I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm bisexual. I've ... I've only had sex twice.

Are you interested in writing or performing comedy for a new podcast? Check it: http://t.co/Btqspc9A Please RT

Ok, time to squeal with happy - @brocklesnitch wrote about Star Wars for @bonvivantau! Read, comment, RT:  http://bon-vivant.com.au/2013/02/20/star-chores/ …

People should stop criticising Chrissie Swan for smoking while pregnant. And start criticising her for being on Big Brother. Never forget!

I hate what the media does to women's body image. I like a girl with something to grab on to, you know? I'd never, ever date a bald girl.

I just want to find a girl who'll love me for the person I pretend to be.

I think the biggest revelation out of this whole Baillieu thing is that the Victorian Opposition Leader's name is Daniel Andrews. #whoknew

Hey, my super funny and fun sketch show is ready for bookings! Come along and support good Aussie sketch comedy http://t.co/DMHXXilU Pls RT

Would like some rage with your morning cup of joe? Two and a Half Men creator loves and respects women in comedy. http://t.co/PeEbrYbZ #not

Just been sniffing some petrol LOL APRIL FUELS

Morning all! The brilliant @brocklesnitch writes about her lack of knowledge about Doctor Who. Read, rage & RT:  http://bon-vivant.com.au/2013/03/11/doctor-whowhenwherehowwhyi-dont-know/#comments …

No News Ltd is good News Ltd.

My grandfather was killed by a stroke. I think it was Albert Hammond Jr.