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Return of the King extended edition is so long that there's a part where Frodo stops to read all of the Hobbit.
why can't carving vegetables be a thing we do all year.
How come when Gatsby disappears from his own party it's all "oh how coy and mysterious," but when I do it everyone thinks I have to poop?
How come seeing Adele perform at award shows always feels like running into an exgirlfriend at a church festival?
Today, I finally found out what the Alabama Shakes look like.
Everytime it gets this unseasonably nice out, some dude always ruins in by wearing a cowboy hat.
I want to see a movie where Charlie Day plays Sam Rockwell's little brother.
I believe in angels when I see children with "heelies" fall in groceries.
Everyone that hates being generalized will hate this tweet.
He said 9/11. Finish the bottle.
When I was 12, I couldn't afford a PS2 so I just bought a PS2 game and waited for my birthday. These days I do the same thing with condoms.