@bg_wv_dave's (Big Wave Dave) most faved Tweets...
Bringing my own toilet paper to work from now on. These budget cuts are really starting to chap my ass...literally.
Are we over Tiger yet? Hope not. Just need to uncover three more of his skanks to make twelve. I have a great idea for a 2010 calendar.
Believe none of what you hear, half of what you see... wait, Photoshop now requires you believe NONE of what you see; half of what you read.
If my doctor told me I'm not healthy enough for sexual activity I'd ask for cyanide instead of Cialis.
If the govmt ends up taxing pot they should also up the tax on Funions, Combos, Lucky Charms and Hot Pockets.
It's time to admit you have a problem when your last thought at night is "only eight hours until my next latte."
@PolarBear_ @Rilliebear Rest assured that she'll be back. She is a strong person. And- though she owes you nothing- she'll post her proof.
She was finally ready to show me the "mysterious secrets of her womanly curves". I quickly realized that meant her Spanx and Wonderbra.
Are Rihanna and GaGa in a surreal fashion battle? What's next - juggling heads of cabbage in a gold foil Snuggie?
I surely love women but the gay lifestyle appears to have nice benefits. They clearly have more closet space...and parades.
Mortified after walking in on a relative taking a drunken piss in the sink. If she didn't birth me I'd be more upset!
@PolarBear_ @Rilliebear Today, as my wife- @bedheadblonde - fights a battle with cancer, I am recommending a break from Twitter for her.
Infiniti's optional "Forest Breeze AC" blows air thru the vents at random speeds to mimic a natural breeze. OPEN THE WINDOW, ELITIST FUCKS!
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