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I know I'm fat because when I watch National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, I think a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club sounds great.
im pro 808s and heartbreak btw
Gave up on trying to get abs back in like 2006. Fuck that shit.
a picture of the snow that's run through the kelvin filter nine times
I'm a dingus
Changing my rap name to Charles Mansion
when a town doesn't pay you for helping to rid said town of rats the only logical solution is to steal their children
why bother putting on a great big bra when you're just going to get McDonalds
*effectively utilizes the 🐶 and 🐷 emojis while sexting*
one time in 1st grade the teacher asked a girl what she ate for breakfast and she said "graham crackers and half a chocolate bar"
I am very interested in what people eat daily and NOT fancy meals you Instagram
"I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR HORSE." -The Horse Shouter
Pretty clever of our brains to make us scared of people we want to have sex with so instead we just have tons and tons of time to read.
I've spent my whole break on the toilet where it's quiet