Let me check Twitter real quick.... - Me, three days ago

wow! 19 followers!! I hate that I wasted all of my best tweets back when I only had 18 followers....

I like my coffee on the rocks with a shot of whiskey....and no coffee

anybody got a hug laying around that they aren't using?
I only need it for a little bit.

I only follow you because A) you inspire me, B) make me laugh, C) touch a nerve or D) I enjoy watching a train wreck..either way I'm a fan

Saw some idiot texting and driving this weekend.That shit pisses me off so much, I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.

Never trust a white guy named Willie

you people save my life on a daily basis...you also keep me from going outside and getting a life....probably

Damn! I have a follower....Now I have to come up with something clever to say and make sure my grammar is correct DAILY

Sitting outside in the dark daring mosquitoes to give me the West Nile

Even though it constantly fucks me, I STILL follow my heart.

The road to Hell is sprinkled with Lego's

I feel like I know some of you so well....at least well enough to hide the good liquor and Xanax

allright! which one of you bastards unfollowed me as soon as followed you??

I'm not sure if it's the depression or the Xanax, but I've lost 7 lbs this month. It could be not having the will to get out of bed to eat

I wish I could think of something else I could say that means more, because "I love you" doesn't even scratch the surface

Just like I'm 15, 30 years later, I still stand in front of a full refrigerator with the door open and nothing to eat.

You went bad in my timeline and chose THOSE to star???

I don't care if you are pretty...make me laugh & I will find you beautiful

I probably am loved...for some reason I just won't allow myself to be