I'm about to fry some chicken. Not because I'm black, because it's the only thing in my freezer. (because I'm black)

Twitter: the only place where white women don't mind being followed by suspicious looking black guys.

When on an elevator by myself and a white guy gets on, I press every single floor, stick up my middle fingers and say "that's for slavery."

White people watch cops and say "wow this show is wild."

Black people watch cops and say "OH SHIT I THINK THAT WAS RICKY!"

Can't wait until hell freezes over. So many women are going to have to go out with me!

"Sorry, I don't date block guys."- racist lego woman.

When someone tells me something was "no biggie" I yell "Well it was no Tupac either!!!"

I just took a quick trip over to black twitter. I whole bunch of teamfollowback people were chasing me with hashtags and misspelled words.

I'm getting alot of new followers. You guys do realize I'm black right?

I'm just a guy, standing in front of a girl, wondering if she's drunk enough for me to approach her yet.

"now I ain't saying she a Pooh digger, but she ain't messing wit a broke tigger."-

Kanye rapping about Winnie the Pooh

I'm so hungry right now I could eat white people food.

Everyone isn't on twitter for the star and RT circle jerk. Some people just follow you because they think you're funny Appreciate them too.

"Hey this boner isn't going to take care of itself!"-

Me to random women at my *job

*former job

"It's like a fucking sauna in here!"-

Blind guy sitting in a sauna.

I hate when people ask me if I sell drugs. NO! What the hell do you think this is?



My BROTHER sells drugs, I sell bootleg DVD's.

If you read my twitter TL backwards it's about a black guy who loses all his white followers and eventually starts talking to himself.

I took a shit without my phone today.


Baby steps...

"Boy it sure is muggy out here."-

White people, walking through the hood.

I'll gladly trade in black history month for fat free fried chicken.