Ugh, it's taking forever for me to become rich and famous just by watching TV all day.

Having the kind of night that makes felonies seem reasonable.

I won't back down, but I will back up.

sending out a love letter telegram to my whole fam. BLAM. I hope you understand.

I'd like to send a shoutout to the shoutout post office.

My eye doctor is a coptometrist. He calls his exams "eye interrogations."

Watch the Throne. Or was it wash the throne? Crap. Better wash it just to be safe.