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If you’re having a bad Monday just think about how one day the sun will eventually swallow the earth and all of this will be gone.
I think Austerity is a pretty name for a girl
You can’t say happiness without penis.
An app like Grindr but you get to cuddle each other's dogs.
Cheryl Cole's new song sounds like it was written by a GCSE music student
Opinions are like arseholes. I'm interested in yours... and I wanna put it on my face tonight wait sorry what are we talking about
A single guy walks into a gay bar... every weekend for thirty years.
"What's your friend's name?"
"Well if he ever needs a place to sit" *points at face*
I propose we stop using "a needle in a haystack" and start using "a top at a lady gaga concert" instead.
Half man. Half bear. Half pig.
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