feel free to assassinate US citizens, torture civilians, & destroy our planet... but DAMMIT DON'T YOU DARE DELAY OUR 501(c)(4) APPLICATIONS

RT @waterwasntbuilt: There's a big difference between critiquing a dead politician and systematically destroying the working class.

Okonokos is that perfect moment between pre- and postlapsarian MMJ. Jim James bit the apple--his evil urge--and it's been shit since.

In the meantime, let's continue to play eeny-meeny-miny-moe until we invade the right Arab country & people finally feel properly grateful.

Obama: "Help Us Destroy Jesus And Start A New Age Of Liberal Darkness" http://t.co/EEdwSMXz

Please read: "My Guantánamo Nightmare" http://t.co/jhHEMhGb + "Notes From a Guantánamo Survivor" http://t.co/8mgzgvXt

"when u pray, go in the endzone, point skyward & pray 2 ur Father, who is unseen. ur Father, who sees what is done publicly, will reward u."

"Surprise taste test! You're eating steaks from @walmart. Double surprise: this steak is a flank off one of our low-performing associates."

RT @adrianchen: Joan Didion's response to a letter in the NYRB "oh, wow."  http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/1979/oct/11/theyll-take-manhattan-3/ …

i gots my new Toms on, oh yeah baby, look at my ethical feet mmhmm so moral, how you like dem white guilt feet, uh huh honey

just think of it: literally tens of people are having the best year of their lives #profound

Pro tips for @cedarville faculty:  http://www.gordon.edu/hr/facultypositions …  http://www2.wheaton.edu/HR/employment/openings_fac.php …  http://www.calvin.edu/admin/provost/openings/ …  http://www.higheredjobs.com/faculty/  #fleeCU

@pastormark Jesus and Mark Driscoll obviously!!!!! Did I guess correctly??? ? Do I win an iPad???? Plz Mark don't leave me hanging, bro!!!!!

Hard to top this in terms of mainstream Evangelical ugliness. People really take this man seriously as a pastor?  https://twitter.com/PastorMark/status/293391878949335043 …

If my beard is untrimmed, TSA harasses me. If I'm clean-shaven or my beard is trimmed, TSA leaves me alone. Like clockwork. #SecurityTheater

You guys I'm real afraid Hussein Obama is gonna institute the draft to force kids like me to fight as special ops in his War on Christmas :(

.@cedarville Is it true the song Lion of Judah is based on the novel Push by Sapphire?

Stat of the Day: 25% of American households earn less per year than the $25k Romney wasted on victory fireworks.

@jonowles88 "The very reason Cedarville exists is to offer an alternative worldview to; 'Bigger Government is the solution'" THE VERY REASON

.@smallbizcounsel Thanks for the follow, though I'm perplexed why you did so considering I hate small businesses, lawyers, sports, and food.